Making Your Own Happiness!

For years so many people have told me that you have to make your own happiness. WHAT did they know? My surroundings should make me happy...and yet, they never seemed to equal happiness in my book, so as this year fell upon us I began to do a lot of reflecting. Sure, we had a huge transition this year, sure, we've had an addition to the child this year, sure, we've had a bit of heartache too...but it was time to stop blaming the situation and start improving myself.

The days of waiting for the opportunity to sit on the couch, eat bon bons and enjoy being a stay at home mom never came, so it was time to change MY outlook and to do so I needed to be happy with MY life. So we know, I am on a mission to change myself. In one way, I am chainging my body. Its working. Today was day 6 of workign out and I have lost 3.7 pounds. This is also my week for my lovely friend to visit from out of town (if you know what I mean). So I felt proud that I worked out on day one of my cycle and even more so that I continue to hold off my cravings and focus on the end goal. And it was also day 6 of no sweets! The cravings are less, though today I had some struggles with my girls and craved that chocolate that I did manage to leave int eh closet.

The other changes I am making are for my family. The internet, I talked about that yesterday. I am also helping my kids to focus on the good. We're talking more about God in our life. We homeschool and use a Catholic Curriculum paired with FIAR. I enjoy the process but its a lot more work than I anticipated. At the end of the day while eating, we talk about our day. We also go over our "Highlights"--where we saw God in our lives that day, and our "Lowlights"--where we wish we had been more like Jesus or felt more like we had God by our side. Its amazing the conversation its been sparking...and the feeling inside is something I have never felt as a mom before. Finally, our other big change is "Family Bedtime". Usually we tag team and put one or two to bed, however we're now reading together as a family every night, singing together AND praying together. Its amazing.

So, in the end, those folks that told me to "MAKE MY OWN HAPPINESS", they weren't just right, they were right on....I am truly happy!

Whew: The Hamster and the Wheel

I think I know exactly how my gerbils felt. They'd run for hours on that little metal wheel and never really get anywhere. I'm sure, if their minds allowed that is, that they were frustrated, confused, and just plain tuckered out.

How do I know this? Because that's exactly how I feel!

School started back up this past Monday - I'm sure you noticed the lack of postings here as Ellie and I got back into the swing of things. For me, this translates into having to have three children out of the house by 7:30, spending about two hours a day in the car as I truck the two oldest boys back to and from schools, and days full of meetings and commitments. Just this week, my schedule includes a staff meeting at our church, a meeting with my volunteer team with the youth group, a board meeting at each of the big boys' schools (one meeting each, mind you), a dinner party, and a birthday party. Sprinkle in grocery shopping, school commitments, and appointments, and the week is pretty full!

It's been a struggle this week to stay with the program. I've started adding carbs and sugar back into my diet, and while I don't crave them, I find myself trying to justify grabbing the piece of bread or granola bar because it's fast. I'm proud to say that I haven't given in yet this week!

Instead, I've tried to plan ahead. As I prepare each of the big boys' lunches the night before school, I make myself some healthy snacks, and stash them in the diaper bag and car. Measured out almonds and fruit/veggies have been great substitutes for the peanut butter toast, or *gasp!* drive thru windows.

Breakfast has been tough. I usually make a ton of pancakes on the weekend and use that for the quick breakfasts when we have all slept in a little too long. I'm trying to avoid those for myself, so I haven't made them this week. (I'm sure all of you in the youth group just giggled, as you are all aware of my pancake addiction). Instead, I've focused on a hard-boiled egg (made the night before) in the car on the mornings that I forget to feed myself breakfast - like this morning.

I've been trying to get up before the kids to work out and get a solid breakfast in myself. I'm 1 for 3 so far this week - I need to work on that more. Getting out of bed on a cold Maine morning is a little tough, though!!

Overall, I'm proud of myself and my willpower so far this week. I've had many instances where it would have been easy to slide into my old habits, and I've managed to over come them. Fingers crossed that I can keep it up this week and I'll see results!!

I'm curious - what are YOUR go-to snacks or meals for those busy mornings? Or, are you like me and you forget to feed yourself as you're making sure everyone else has healthy, balanced meal? What are your tricks or tools?

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!

And we're back....

to work and school that is, and for us concocting a few non-veggie meals. That's right folks. My kids have held a revolt. After four years of less than normal meat consumption they continually ask for "Nana's Famous Meatballs" or "Pops Ham and Scallopped Potatoes". And I provide lovely dishes of fish, veggies, tofu and pasta. None seem to compare. Ah, I lie, once in a while I get a thumbs up to the everyday Grilled Cheese or Veggies with Ranch. Very challenging recipes I might add.

So Sunday, I cooked a ham. Yes, I bought and cooked a ham....well, reheated it or whatever you do with those things. And yes, knowing me, you will know I did "doctor" it up a bit. I specifically chose a non-honeybaked ham so that the youngest could partake in the pleasure of pork however I was concerned it needed a bit of sweet and spicy to make it more appetizing.

Ham went over well. I also found a new favorite veggie. Turnips. Yes, turnips sauteed in Olive Oil with some salt and pepper. I swear its like eating butter.

The one thing about a ham, although its costly, it sure lasts a long time. Monday, we had ham and grilled cheese, today, we had Ham and Tarragon Quiche and tomorrow is Pops Ham and Scalloped Potatoes. I could have stretched it a fifth day but to be honest, I didn't want to.

You may also have noticed the speed in which Heidi and I have been blogging has gone from Lightening Fast to Turtle Slow. I'd like to apologize, however I feel its for the best. We've both committed to our diets in the New Year as well as our families and our exercise. So I think she'll agree when I say the computer has taken a back seat, say trunk of the mini-van or very cool Yaris that Heidi drives.

We noticed we have 3 followers (THANKS GALS), feels good to be supportive. Feel free to chime in whenever, we need the push or swift kick every once in a while.

I weighed in this past Tuesday and have lost a total of 3 pounds 7 ounces. I know, not nearly the break neck speed in which Heidi is shedding those nasty pounds, but for a nursing mom, its pretty good as they recommend one pound a week. How have I done it???? Well...to be honest, I really took the sugar out. I mean ALL of it, except in recipes, and my beloved coffee. I think its made a huge difference. There is also only water, tea and coffee to sip on...though today I splurged and got a Diet Coke at a Birthday Party!

I am also excited to report that I have conqured two major cravings of my major vice....yesterday after a rough trip to the photo studio, paired with a long trip to find a birthday gift for a party, I was STARVED (NEW PORTION SIZES DO THAT TO A GIRL), I called Heidi on my drive home, telling her of the gargantuan craving for sweets...and to top it off, I had bought sweets for the girls birthday party at the store. I needed to make dinner and feared I would devour just one or two bags full. She really supported me and I was later able to express my thanks to her because I HELD OFF! No sweets. Just dinner! Today, it was my second test. The girls were invited to a birthday party at McDonald's. I ate on Snack Wrap and had a soda. Diet of course!!!! No ice cream. No cake, and I didn't even finish off the girls chocolate that they got as a gift! I was so proud...and I was excited to get a call from Heidi that she may also share with you!

Making this mission a group effort has been the best choice in my new year. Its not only chaning my eating habits, but my moods and my self-confidence.....thank YOU for allowing me to share my journey with you!!!!

Celebrations

Think back to your last family celebration.


Was it a birthday? A holiday? Celebrating a new job? A new baby?


Whatever it was celebrating, I bet it centered around food. Much time was spent planning out every detail of a meal, or of a dessert, or of the drink menu for that celebration. Am I right?


I'm taking a gamble that you answered yes to that question. It seems that every time we humans celebrate something , it involves a meal or a sharing of food in some manner. Look across cultures and religious traditions and you'll see the same phenomenon. (Trust me on this one, I have a useless, expensive degree in anthropology from a Big Ten University).

We use FOOD to celebrate. We celebrate holidays with elaborate dinner menus. We celebrate new jobs with drinks and toasts (for once, I'm not talking about the bread here!). We celebrate new babies and weddings with cakes. Birthdays mean a special dinner for the person of honour, and usually a big cake or dessert.

Everything revolves around food. It's no wonder that on a daily basis, we find ourselves celebrating little victories with "special" choices in our daily diets.

It's no different in my family. Today is my middle son's fourth birthday. As we do with every other birthday (well, maybe not the baby for a little while longer...), we let the birthday boy pick out his dinner for that night. Usually this means that we go out to eat. Tonight is no different: the new four-year-old wants to go to the "BBQ" restaurant for dinner. (translation: Famous Dave's)

I'm a little apprehensive about this, to be totally honest. This will be my first attempt out in "real" life with the new diet plan. It's been *relatively* easy to follow my diet rules at home. I can prepare my own foods, shop for healthy pantry items, and measure out my portions with my cute little blue measuring cups. I can't do any of that at a restaurant. A restaurant means a huge, heaping portion of things that I can't eat right now (hot rolls - yum - french fries - double yum - beer - sigh), and probably won't eat for a long time. Those items are some of the hardest to control myself around - well, except for the beer - and therefore, ones that I'm going to avoid until I'm sure of my resolve on this diet. Who knows when that will be!

Luckily, the BBQ restaurant has online nutritional information, so I'm researching it right now. I'll narrow the online menu down to a few items, and let myself choose from those once I get there. In the past, multiple times, I've chosen my item in advance off of an online menu, and then realized once I got to the restaurant, that item wasn't available at my particular location. I'm hoping that going in with a list of 3 or 4 things will help if the same thing happens again.

Then comes the biggest hurdle for me: being one of "those" customers. I need to find the nerve, deep down somewhere, to make requests when ordering my food. The french fries need to be substituted. Sauces need to come on the side. I need to make the meal as user-friendly as possible for my diet. This will go against every fiber of my being - I hate being so demanding of a waitress/waiter. It takes all of my resolve to ask for something to be omitted usually - laying down even more specifications will take absolute courage. Don't laugh! (I can hear you stifling the chuckles). I'm a rule-follower, not a rule-breaker. It's just my nature, and it shows up in the weirdest of places. A restaurant just happens to unfortunately be one of those places.

I not sure how we're going to handle the dessert issue. I'm leaning towards letting the birthday boy pick it and we all "share" it, and just not take any bites. That's going to take a lot of willpower, which I'm hoping I can find somewhere inside.

I have had great success this past week - and I'm determined to not let a birthday celebration get the best of me!! Wish me luck!

Eating Healthy Means Planning Well

So as I hit Wegman's (my all time favorite grocer www.wegmans.com) I was able to think about my weekly or bi-weekly eating plan. This for me is a HUGE help in setting goals and eating healthily.

For me, its a challenge. Typically I get up, get the girls up, dress them, get their hair done, make beds and we head downstairs. After preparing their meal, reading our devotional and getting organized for the day ahead in homeschooling, errands and activities, its time to begin, so lunch is lost...except for my unforgettable cup (READ POT) of coffee.

By 11 a.m. my sugar has plummetted and my temper has sparked a slight fire, no, I take that back, there is an inferno going. I am grappling for anything of any substance to sustain me til lunch. Its usually something sweet. With my hunger curbed, I typically make lunch for the girls. I feed the baby and then clean up from lunch. By the time I am done, its time to put the baby down and I have yet to eat.

After the baby is in bed for a nap, the girls and I read, play, color or take on any task that hasn't been completed in the morning. When the youngest rouses from a good two hour nap, I am ravenous...but so is she. ENTER: POT NUMBER 2 of coffee. After she's fed, I clean up and begin thinking about dinner....dinner...but where were my breakfast and lunch? Oh that is right, 2 POTS of coffee and most likely some sweets.

Realizing the above is not just a once in a while occurance, I realized I needed to have some quick snacks and meals available to me at all times. Ones that would sustain me and allow me to function as a good parent and be good to myself. I figured it would also instill some good qualities in the girls if when they began to reach, they chose healthy options.

On the list this week has been veggies (sliced cucs, carrots, peppers, etc), fruit (pineapple, oranges, pears), good cheese...no not that processed junk that you pull out of plastic individually. The good stuff. I also have decided I need to get back into making granola AND baking bread. This will allow me to have quick bites available at all times.....

So as I walked through Wegman's, my cart piled high, I was proud to note there was no candy. No cake, no processed sweets, only food that would sustain me, and do so in a healthy manner.

Here's to planning. I guess I have always been a planner for everyone else...but its time to add myself to my list of "EVERYONE".

The Baker in Me....

It won't come as a surprise to many of you that I like to bake. And cook. And eat what I have baked and cooked. ;) What may surprise some of you is that I usually only bake when I'm stressed, believe it or not. When things seem totally out of my control, I pull out the cookie sheets and get to creating. Usually, I make ginger cookies - my mom's recipe - because I always have those ingredients on hand. I've memorized the recipe, and it becomes almost a therapeutic ritual to pull out the ingredients. I walk to the pantry, and carry back the flour, the sugar, the molasses, the vanilla, the spices. I can already feel my stress melting away at this point.

Then it's to the fridge, where I pull out eggs. I'm usually relaxed at this point - and the boys know that this is their cue. They come running into the kitchen, asking to help. I smile (usually) and say "Sure, just let me get it set up." They run back to the playroom, waiting for my call.

Together, we go through the motions of mixing up the dough in my pretty blue KitchenAid stand mixer. Shortening, sugar, vanilla, egg, flour, baking soda, cloves, ginger....the list goes on. By the time that we're rolling the dough into 1-inch balls and rolling them in sugar, we're usually laughing. The balls go into the oven, and come out nine minutes later, hot and ready to eat.

Here's where the problem comes in: the recipe makes about 5 dozen cookies. They're usually gone by the next day. We binge. I'm sure I eat at least 18 cookies on my own. The act of eating one of my ginger cookies is almost as stress-relieving as the act of making them: one bite conjures up the relaxing memories from around that KitchenAid mixer (even more so when dunked into a hot, steaming cup of coffee!).

Yesterday was my first real struggle with the need, the desire, to bake cookies. Baby #3 had fallen the night before, right before bedtime (he's learning to walk), and seemed to be crankier than normal all night. By the time he got up yesterday morning at 9 am (that should have been one indicator of something being wrong!! My children don't sleep in. Ever), he was refusing to use his right arm. It just hung by his side, limp. He COULD use it, but he wasn't, and he'd scream bloody murder if you tried to move it for him.

About this time, my husband walked in from his shift at the hospital. I immediately bundled the baby up and sent him right back into his workplace with the baby. Many xrays and doctor consults later, we've concluded that he sprained his shoulder, as there was no evidence of any broken bones, no nursemaid's elbow, nothing that seemed serious. He came back home with instructions to keep Baby #3 on Motrin, around the clock, and call the orthopedist if he didn't start using it in 48 hours.

They were gone for five hours. Five hours of my husband's cell phone not working. Five hours of getting pieces of information, a little at a time: "We're waiting for Xray results." "Xray shows no break, but we're waiting for a consult from Ortho." "They're rescanning his elbow." No definitive answers, just a lot of what it WASN'T.

Five hours of pure stress. I sat, stuck at home because Mike had the car with all the carseats, worrying about my baby, while the other two older babies played and goofed off. It would have been so easy, and so stress relieving to pull out the mixer and the cookie sheets. I knew I had all the ingredients. I knew it would take my mind off of the baby in the ER at the hospital.

I also knew I would eat at least a dozen before Mike got home, and I'd worked so hard to not eat sugars and sweets and carbs all week.






I didn't make the cookies. I bundled up the big kids, and we played outside in the snowstorm. I managed to find enough ways to keep us occupied for that five hours.

Do I still want cookies? Definitely. But I have none in the house: because I knew that I wouldn't be able to control myself with eating them. And it wouldn't be just me - Mike loves these cookies as much as I do. I'm sure he would have over-indulged as well. I'm proud of myself for not making them, even though I can taste them on my tongue. I might make some later this week - but only on a day where I can send 4 of the 5 dozen to work with Mike. We'll see.


Oh, in case you were wondering, Baby #3 is just fine. He's back to crawling and using his arm just like he used to.......crisis averted.

Moving Forward

Yesterday I was still reeling from the return of the holiday's. No matter how hard I try, those holiday meals seem to get the best of me. If its not the meals, the snacking and goodies seem to get the better of me. If it was ONE treat, perhaps I wouldn't be wondering why my pants are so tight.

Anyway, last night I sat down to post and ran into Heidi on Chat. I told her I was stalling and should have been working out or doing something other than sitting on my duff, so I began day dreaming about wine. Heidi told me I had time to work out...so I grabbed my husband and I did.

We got out the Wii Fit. Though its low impact, it was after 8 p.m. I didn't want to rile myself up. So we did the fitness test. It had been about 6 months since I got on it and I was quite concerned about it all and how it would go. I was surprised to see that I had actually lost four pounds though it felt as if I had gained about 20. So I guess that will be my official weigh in.

I was 144 pounds. I am 5'6 so that doesn't sound awful, however before kids I was 107. Same height. I don't expect to be the same size I was before kids however I would like to be 20 pounds lighter than I am today. So the work begins.

Colin and I took turns working out. So that aerobic exercise may or may not have had a great impact however it was something. We did it for a half hour and enjoyed each others company. We vowed to each other we'd do that a few times a week after the kids went to bed. My goal is to also add another work out video or Wii Work Out in at least 4 days a week. I am looking for 7 total fitness activties and when the weather warms up, I hope to get back to running.

This morning I lazily walked downstairs and saw the Andes mints. I really wanted one, but I turned it down. Then before leaving the house to go on errands, I saw them again. They called my name, but I ignored them...for me, that is success for it wouldn't have been the ONE Andes Candy that I wanted however the 10 after that first one that would have affected my life and made me feel like I had lost the entire day!

Tonight, day two of some sort of work out! Just wish I could get it done during the day!