Food #3 : Swiss Chard

Oh yay!

Believe it or not, we've approached one of my absolute favourite foods on the Healthy Foods You Should Be Eating list: Swiss Chard!

Now, just thinking of Swiss chard makes me flash back to my childhood. It was a staple for dinners at my grandparents' house up in Canada - we'd have it all the time as a side dish to accompany pretty much anything. Nanny would steam it, then lather it with butter and sprinkle some salt on, and it was good to go. We've managed to find more ways to prepare it since then, but just plain old buttered Swiss chard will forever hold a special place in my heart.

So, why should we eat this (or try it if you haven't already had some)? According to The World's Healthiest Foods, Swiss chard is a "vegetable valedictorian." Swiss chard has been shown in multiple studies to be particularly good at preventing digestive tract cancers (colon especially), as well as seeming to have a protective effect on the kidneys.

Swiss chard packs quite the punch, too. It seems just simple and salty, but each serving of Swiss chard contains: concentrations of vitamin K, vitamin A, vitamin C, magnesium, manganese, potassium, iron, vitamin E, and dietary fiber. Swiss chard is also a very good or good source of copper, calcium, vitamin B2, vitamin B6, protein, phosphorus, vitamin B1, zinc, folate, biotin, niacin and pantothenic acid. That's a lot for such a little vegetable!!

Want to try to work some Swiss chard into your diet? Here are a couple of recipes to try out. The first is one that we actually just made on Friday night (and LOVED!), and the second is one that we're going to try later this week. Both come to you from the Whole Foods website.


Coconut Milk-Braised Greens

Salt to taste
2 bunches collard greens, kale or Swiss chard (about 1 pound total), stemmed and roughly chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
3/4 cup coconut milk
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Black pepper to taste
Method

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add greens and cook for 2 minutes; drain well and set aside.

Meanwhile, heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onions and cook, stirring often, until soft and translucent, 5 to 7 minutes. Add reserved greens, coconut milk and lemon juice, stir well and simmer until tender, 5 to 7 minutes more. Season with salt and pepper and serve.
Nutrition

Per serving (about 13oz/356g-wt.): 280 calories (190 from fat), 21g total fat, 10g saturated fat, 0mg cholesterol, 450mg sodium, 19g total carbohydrate (10g dietary fiber, 3g sugar), 7g protein




Greens with Carrots, Feta Cheese, and Brown Rice

2 carrots, shredded
2 bunches dark leafy greens (kale, collard greens or Swiss chard), tough stems removed, leaves very thinly sliced
1/2 red onion, finely chopped
Salt and ground black pepper to taste
1/4 pound feta cheese, crumbled
1 (20-ounce) package 365 Everyday Value frozen Organic Whole Grain Brown Rice, prepared according to package directions
Method

Put carrots, greens, onions, 1/4 cup water, salt and pepper into a large, deep skillet and toss well. Cover and cook over medium heat, tossing once or twice, until greens are wilted and tender, 10 to 15 minutes. Toss with feta cheese and spoon over brown rice.
Nutrition

Per serving (about 14oz/410g-wt.): 290 calories (70 from fat), 8g total fat, 4.5g saturated fat, 25mg cholesterol, 900mg sodium, 46g total carbohydrate (7g dietary fiber, 5g sugar), 11g protein

Weigh In Day

Saturdays are my weigh-in day, and I often wake up scared to walk into the bathroom. I weigh myself in the same manner every week (I'm a bit obsessed about control here!). The night before (Friday), I pick out the same pajamas so that I'm wearing the exact same clothing the next morning to weigh in. I'm not sure why I think the difference in my pajamas' weights is so significant, but if it helps me sleep, I'll support this touch of neurosis! ;) I climb into bed, nervous about the next morning.

Saturday morning dawns.....and I jump out of bed. (Okay, not really....I try to bribe the boys to stay in their bedrooms longer and I roll back over and go to sleep. I won't lie...it's the truth. I just cannot JUMP out of bed on a Saturday morning). Anyways, Saturday morning dawns, and I eventually make my way out of bed - usually around 7:30/8am. I hobble into the upstairs bathroom like a little old lady, usually with a dog and two children in tow. Once in the bathroom, I pull out the scale and put it in the middle of the floor. I guess I like to torture myself while I pee (What?!?! It's first thing in the morning - I have to pee! It's part of the routine!!).

After I pee, and before I get drawn into the needs of the children in the morning (which seem exponentially higher than their needs on a weekday morning, just sayin'), I slip off my slippers because they, of course, weigh 5 pounds, and step onto the scale.

So far, on this diet journey, I've been pleasantly surprised. There was one week when I didn't lose or gain anything, which was slightly disappointing, but that was the week we were incredibly sick, so I think that had something to do with it.

This week was no exception!! I'm down another 2.5 pounds from last week!!!


Drumroll please....I'm down exactly TWENTY pounds since December 26th!! 20 pounds in one month is VERY cool in my mind - I'm extremely happy with it and proud of Mike and I for sticking to it.

Two weeks to go until the Michigan trip, and I'm hoping to be down another 5 when that trip happens......fingers crossed!!!

The Second Food You Should Be Eating

Number two on the list of top foods that you're not eating (but should be!) is cabbage. Marrying into a Ukrainian family has allowed me to experience WAY more cabbage in the past 10 years of my life than the 18 before then, and I have to say that I really enjoy cabbage.

Cabbage rolls, soup, sauerkraut, you name it - I love them all!! Before marrying Mike, my cabbage eating experience was pretty much limited to coleslaw. Now, I'm happy to say that we regularly eat this off the Foods You Should Be Eating list.

So, why cabbage? you may be wondering. Here it is, courtesy of WiseGeek:

A cup of cabbage (approximately 150 grams) has only 33 calories. Yet it is packed with vitamins and provides an excellent source of dietary fiber. Some of the health benefits of cabbage are its high levels of vitamins C and K. It’s also a good source of many of the B vitamins, folate, vitamin A, and omega 3 fatty acids. Vitamin C alone makes cabbage rich in antioxidants that may help protect cells and deliver anti-aging benefits.

There are other documented benefits of cabbage. For instance, cabbage may be a helpful food when dealing with peptic ulcers. Red cabbage in particular has been shown in a few studies to have the potential to reduce risk of Alzheimer’s disease. A certain type of protein called amyloid beta may damage brain cells, and some cells in red cabbage, called anthocyanins, may act to prevent this damage.

Several studies have assessed the benefits of cabbage as a cancer preventative, and some of these are very encouraging. Many of these studies look not only at eating cabbage but other cruciferous veggies too. In research done in the Netherlands, people who ate cruciferous vegetables reduced risk of colo-rectal cancers nearly in half. Another study in Texas evaluated how these veggies could reduce bladder risk by nearly 30%.

There are quite a few published articles that suggest lung cancer risk may be lower for people who eat cabbage or cruciferous vegetables of other types. Even smokers may be able to reduce risk of lung cancer, though eating cabbage should not be seen as a way to avoid cancer for smokers. Benefits of cabbage for nonsmokers who are exposed to second hand smoke are high too, and might be significant in lowering risk for lung cancer due to exposure to smoke.

Another of the interesting benefits of cabbage is its potential to help reduce breast cancer incidence. Research into this suggests that adolescent girls who eat 3-5 to servings of cabbage per week may be less likely to develop breast cancer as adults. Adult women shouldn’t give up on eating the vegetable either, as regular consumption of cabbage may help provide continued protection against breast cancer.

Though there are many benefits of cabbage, there are a few people who should avoid it. Its high levels of vitamin K mean that those who take anticoagulants like warfarin (Coumadin®) should not consume cabbage. This may interfere with levels of this medication. Additionally, those with low thyroid hormone levels may want to skip cabbage because it can interfere with the thyroid gland’s ability to produce thyroid hormone.


Are you feeling adventurous and want to add some cabbage into your family's diet? Here are some of our stand-by recipes:



Cabbage Rolls (created by me in an attempt to reproduce Baba's.....not quite, but still yummy!!)

Ingredients

1 head of cabbage
cooked brown rice, 2 cups
1 can diced tomatoes
1/2 lb ground beef
1/2 onion, chopped
1/2 green pepper, chopped
1 8 oz can of tomato sauce
2 tsp brown sugar, packed
2 tbsp ketchup
thyme
oregano
salt
pepper



Directions
Cook brown rice according to directions.

Sautee bell peppers, onions, and beef until beef is browned and veggies are soft and translucent. Add spices as you cook, to taste. Add can of tomatoes near the very end, undrained.

Drop a head of cabbage in a large pot of boiling water. Boil for a few minutes, pull out and remove the outer leaves. Put the head of the cabbage back into the boiling water, and repeat the process until you have 8 leaves.

In a large bowl, mix meat mixture with cooked rice. Use this rice/meat mixture to "stuff" the cabbage rolls. Divide mixture evenly, and then roll up the cabbage, burrito style. Place, seam side down, in a casserole dish. Continue until the casserole dish is full.

In a small bowl, combine brown sugar, tomato sauce, and ketchup. Whisk together, and then pour over the cabbage rolls.

Bake, covered, for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Serve with sour cream, if desired.

Number of Servings: 8







Sweet Russian Cabbage Soup (one of our favourite recipes!!)


Ingredients

* 1 1/2 pounds ground lean beef
* 1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
* 1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
* 4 cubes beef bouillon
* 2 medium carrots, shredded
* 1 onion, chopped
* 2 tablespoons white vinegar
* 1/2 cup white sugar
* 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
* 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 2 quarts water, divided
* 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
* 1 head cabbage, cored and cut into wedges

1. Crumble the ground beef into a large pot. Add the diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, beef bouillon cubes, carrots, onion, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper. Pour in 1 quart of water, and bring to a boil. Stir to break up the beef while heating. Once the soup comes to a boil, cover and simmer for 30 minutes over low heat.
2. Pour in another quart of water, and return to a slow boil. Add garlic and cabbage. Simmer for 25 minutes, until cabbage is tender. Ladle into soup bowls to serve.



This one we have never made before, but we're going to soon - I think we'd love it!!

Braised Red Cabbage

Braised Red Cabbage

1 red cabbage, sliced
3 onions, sliced thinly
2 tbsp. butter
4 apples, peeled, cored and sliced
4 cloves
1/2 c. red wine vinegar
1/2 bottle dry red wine
1/2 tsp. sugar
Dash salt

Melt butter in large saucepan. Saute onions, then add cabbage, apples, sugar and salt, cloves. Mix well . Add vinegar and wine. Cover and cook over low heat until cabbage is soft and liquid has absorbed, stirring occasionally (approximately 1 1/2 hours).




What do you think? Ready to eat some cabbage? :)

10 Best Foods for You......That You're Not Eating

(Courtesy of The New York Times)


Do you ever wonder what the latest research shows are the BEST foods for you to be eating? Do you ever wonder if you (or your family's) diet is measuring up to those standards?

After seeing a recent post on Maine.MomsLikeMe.com , I wanted to look more into what those foods were and just why they were the "best" for you. Every week, I'm going to pick one of those top ten foods and research them for you, then give you a few recipes to try them out with. Are you ready?

According to New York Times, the best foods for you - that you're probably not eating already - are:

Beets
Cabbage
Swiss Chard
Cinnamon
Pomegranate juice
Dried plums
Pumpkin seeds
Sardines
Turmeric
Frozen Blueberries
Canned pumpkin.

You can read the whole article here, but I'm going to start at the top and work my way down over the next couple of weeks. So here we go.......ready to learn about beets?

Why beets? you may be wondering.......Well, it turns out that the pigment that makes beets the colour that they are is a huge cancer fighter. Multiple studies show benefits in fighting colon cancer specifically. Studies have shown them to have cardiac benefits as well - decreasing "bad" cholesterol and and increasing their "good" cholesterol significantly. Beets are also particularly rich in the B vitamin folate - and all of you moms and preggos out there just perked up. Folate is VERY important in preventing birth defects. The daily requirement of folate is 400 micrograms.....and just one cup of boiled, sliced beets contains about 130 of those micrograms!

So bring on those beets!! To get you started, here are a few of our favourite recipes:



Borscht (of course, we ARE Ukrainian!!)

* 1 (16 ounce) package pork sausage
* 3 medium beets, peeled and shredded
* 3 carrots, peeled and shredded
* 3 medium baking potatoes, peeled and cubed
* 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
* 1 medium onion, chopped
* 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
* 3/4 cup water
* 1/2 medium head cabbage, cored and shredded
* 1 (8 ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
* 3 cloves garlic, minced
* salt and pepper to taste
* 1 teaspoon white sugar, or to taste
* 1/2 cup sour cream, for topping
* 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley for garnish


1. Crumble the sausage into a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook and stir until no longer pink. Remove from the heat and set aside.
2. Fill a large pot halfway with water(about 2 quarts), and bring to a boil. Add the sausage, and cover the pot. Return to a boil. Add the beets, and cook until they have lost their color. Add the carrots and potatoes, and cook until tender, about 15 minutes. Add the cabbage, and the can of diced tomatoes.
3. Heat the oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the onion, and cook until tender. Stir in the tomato paste and water until well blended. Transfer to the pot. Add the raw garlic to the soup, cover and turn off the heat. Let stand for 5 minutes. Taste, and season with salt, pepper and sugar.
4. Ladle into serving bowls, and garnish with sour cream and fresh parsley.


Now, I haven't tried these, but will soon and will review them. Until then - here you go!


Russian Beet and Potato Salad


Ingredients

* 2 beets
* 4 small potatoes
* 2 small carrots
* 3 small dill pickles, diced
* 1/4 cup vegetable oil
* 2 tablespoons champagne vinegar
* salt to taste
* 3 green onions, chopped

1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, and cook beets until tender, about 30 minutes. Bring a separate pot of water to a boil and cook potatoes and carrots until tender, about 20 minutes. Drain vegetables, cool, and remove skins. Dice and place in a large bowl.
2. Place the diced pickles in the bowl with beets, potatoes, and carrots. Drizzle the olive oil and vinegar over the mixture and toss to coat. Season with salt. Sprinkle with green onions. Chill completely before serving.


Roasted Beets N'Sweets


Ingredients

* 6 medium beets, peeled and cut into chunks
* 2 1/2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
* 1 teaspoon garlic powder
* 1 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1 teaspoon sugar
* 3 medium sweet potatoes, cut into chunks
* 1 large sweet onion, chopped

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2. In a bowl, toss the beets with 1/2 tablespoon olive oil to coat. Spread in a single layer on a baking sheet.
3. Mix the remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and sugar in a large resealable plastic bag. Place the sweet potatoes and onion in the bag. Seal bag, and shake to coat vegetables with the oil mixture.
4. Bake beets 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Mix sweet potato mixture with the beets on the baking sheet. Continue baking 45 minutes, stirring after 20 minutes, until all vegetables are tender.




Does your family have a favourite way to eat beets? If so, share here!

Shopping at its Best

So how do YOU shop? Heidi has been off to Whole Foods and doing well staying within budget (mostly, I think). Personally, out in the boonies of New Jersey (yes there are boonies here), I have few choices for grocery stores. There are no Trader Joe's OR Whole Foods in my area. The closest are in Princeton which is about 45 minutes. I do know of one mom who travels every Thursday to fill her family of good, healthful nutritious foods. Personally, we don't believe in EVERYTHING organic. In fact, little of what we buy is (only if its on sale). With a husband who has a Master's in Nutrition and a Ph.D. in Pharmacology and Toxicology I try to follow his lead when he notes what we should and should not eat organic...and his opinion is that though chemicals are used to protect from insects, those chemicals can also protect us from food borne illness and disease. So he's a huge proponent of actually WASHING, not shining or rinsing your fruits and veggies...and doing it twice even if it says you bag of Spinach is already "prewashed".

So since we've moved to teh great Garden State ( I actually reside where the REAL gardens are), we have had the challenge of getting to the grocery store. With three girls, who are homeschooled, and a husband who works full time, I usually trek out on my own accompanied by 3 helpers. I can't tell you the number of times I hear "wow, are they all yours". Um, its three people, in Michigan this is a minimum requirement (LOL).

Anyway, since our only option in town is a disgusting store known as the "DIRTY SHOP RITE", I often venture to a nearby town 10 miles down the road OR over the border to Pennsylvania 16 miles to my dear old Wegmans. Since its a TREK, it takes an afternoon, and since it takes an afternoon, we typically do it TWICE a month. I feed the family on a total of $500.00 in groceries or less. So, how do I do it? I have learned I HAVE to. I purchase fresh fruits and veggies for the first week and yes, those horrid canned veggies and fruits for the second. Typically oranges, apples, carrots, celery and cucumbers will make it an additional week. I also don't flinch at buying a bit underripe as it allows me to provide fresh fruits and veggies for both weeks before returning to my shop of choice.

Keeping it under $500.00 for a month for five people typically means that I am spending $125.00 per person per month including breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. IF I have to make a meal for a friend or neighbor, I sometimes go over. Recently we've added meat into our diet as the children seem to love it, and though I still mostly do fish, fruit, veg and pasta, I have been able to add one large meat product per two week cycle. I also use coupons and circulars to plan my trips. Couponmom.com has some great coupons that allow me to stay within my budget as well.

So, I was wondering, doing YOUR best, how do you do it? What do you spend and how do you save????

The Mom Struggles

We all do it - we over-schedule ourselves. We fill our days to the max, agreeing to do more than our share. The same is true for me - which has made blogging difficult recently. If only I could figure out how to blog from my phone!! :)

It's always a struggle to find time for myself. I think the same is true for ALL women, whether you're a stay-at-home mom, or a working mom, or a mom with grown kids, or a woman with no kids. We women seem to have a hard time making time for ourselves - we can rationalize away any of our "free" or "me" time by claiming that it's "for the kids" or "for our job" or whatever.

For the past month, I've been trying to reclaim some "me" time, at least four to five times a week. I've been trying to take 30 minutes a day for myself - whether it be a workout, a chance to read a chapter of my book, or a chance to blog, or heck, just a chance to shower without interruptions. Mike's schedule has been slightly more forgiving this month, which has helped us both reach our goals of working out and attaining "me" time. I'm hoping that we can keep it up over the next couple of months as his schedule gets crazy again.

At this point, I realize just how important that time is for me. I've been a much happier and much more fun mom the past month. Food is getting made from scratch again, instead of relying on store-bought. I'm healthier - down 19 pounds this morning! - both physically and mentally. I think I've become addicted to that "down"time, and I'm committing myself to finding a way to schedule it in to my days from here on out.

I think the benefits of this time vastly outweigh the downsides (slightly less sleep, less time to spend online, less time for things like shopping trips, etc). In my life, it has been, at least.

What are some of your tricks for "me" time? How do you spend that time? DO you spend that time?

Is getting "me" time a priority for you? Why or why not?

Tasty Tuesdays!!!

Hi all-

As promised on Facebook, today's recipe came from my friend Catalina Munoz, and is a Sweet Potato and Red Lentil Curry. We had it for dinner last night, over jasmine rice, and with naan bread on the side - it was amazing! My boys just LOVED it!

Enjoy!


Sweet Potato and Red Lentil Curry

Ingredients

2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 medium onion, chopped
coarse sea salt or kosher salt
1 medium sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1 inch chunks
1 (1 inch) piece of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped
1 large or 2 small cloves of garlic, chopped
1 tbsp curry powder
1 bay leaf
1.5 cups red lentils



Directions
Bring 3.5 cups of water to a boil.

In a large saucepan over high heat, warm the oil. Add the onion and a pinch of salt and saute, stirring occasionally, until the onion softens, about 3 to 4 minutes.

Add the sweet potato, ginger, garlic, curry powder, and bay leaf and saute until fragrant, about 1 minute. Pour in the boiling water and stir in the lentils. Reduce the heat to medium-low, cover and simmer until the lentils break down and the sweet potatoes are tender, 18-20 minutes. Season with salt.

While the potatoes and lentils are cooking, wrap a stack of pitas or naan bread in a slightly damp cotton towel, and place in a warm oven for 10-15 minutes. (bread not included in nutritional information).

Serve over jasmine rice (not included in recipe nutritional information)

Number of Servings: 6



Nutritional Info

* Servings Per Recipe: 6
* Amount Per Serving
* Calories: 135.7
* Total Fat: 5.2 g
* Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
* Sodium: 31.5 mg
* Total Carbs: 18.4 g
* Dietary Fiber: 5.6 g
* Protein: 5.4 g

A New Day

Today is a new day. I took the weekend "off" from workouts and really didn't stick to my plan for the past three days. Today, however, is a new day. I'm back in the routine, getting up early and getting in my Wii workout. I feel good about that. (I'm a little concerned about all three boys still sleeping, an hour and a half after my alarm went off, but I'm enjoying the quiet time!). I feel guilty about slacking through the weekend, but I'm motivated to start back up again.

I'm wondering if this is going to become my typical weekend routine. I know it's probably not ideal, but I'm finding it extremely hard to keep my regular workout routines and sleep routines through the weekends. This is two in a row now where I really just let things slide because of all of the family or social commitments that I had on the weekends. It doesn't seem to have upset my weight loss - I'm sure it slowed it down a little, but the weight IS still coming off. I'm wondering if letting go of my ideal of 1-2 workouts a day would be a healthy thing for the weekends, as long as I don't change my eating habits during those days. Would that make me feel less guilty on Sunday nights or Monday mornings?

Or is it a slippery slope to a life of NO workouts?


I'm still debating.....

How do YOU treat the weekends? Do you alter your diet plan? Your workout schedule? Or do they stay the same as the weekdays? Share!

Unlike...

my awesome soul sister, I have struggled this week. I have blogged about it but those sweets get to me. I knew they would. That is why I swore them off when we first began and as of today, they are gone again. Goodbye chocolate, good bye cake, good bye candy...and not in my tummy!

This week I am preparing for success. I think that statement means a lot. So often, as mother with that whole plexiglass arrangement we're so scattered that we really don't have time to prepare for our own success, so this week I am doing it.

Its my "off" grocery week. Meaning that yes, I shop every other week. I will be going out on Friday as the big girls celebrate their birthday's with a party on Saturday, but until then, its what is in the house. THIS is great on the budget, not so great on the meal planning or dinner. I am also an avid coupon shopper so sometimes I have to get a little creative. Those "picnic" lunches I tell my kids are fun are really, mom is running out of stuff.

I do however have the following to make the week a success. Fish. Salmon and Whitefish. These will be used. I also have some veggies. Avocado (for baby snacks), Carrots, Mushrooms, Onions (does that count as a veggie) and Celery. Tonight, I plan to make a fish dinner with potatoes. Instead of mashers which my girls adore I am going to make pan latkes without breading. Yes, its a little decadent but I think without the breading it will be more like a "dinner homefry" I will bake it though. Here's hoping..its a stab in the dark. Tomorrow will be pasta with sauteed veggies and a low-fat cream sauce. Its made the same way except I use skim milk. My husband wishes I used cream :) Then, from there its going to be a challenge to find us eating a "traditional" meal. I will also be cutting veggies and peeling those necessary for snacks. For when I reach for a quick veggie snack, I do better and I find, like Heidi my girls are now devouring peppers, cucumbers and fruit at a break neck pace.

Going into anything, you prepare yourself to do well, and as moms interested in bettering ourselves, shouldn't we do the same?

I encourage you to prepare this week for success. Slice and Dice those veggies today. Rinse and drain any fruit you want to have on hand (sorry, I am down to canned), get everything set so you too can begin your successful journey to a healthy you!

The End of Week 4

I did manage to get up the nerve to step on the scale this morning, and I'm down another 1.5 pounds! That brings my total to 17.5 pounds, and I am incredibly happy with that so far. I still have 62.5 left to go (I CAN do math, believe it or not!), but I'm almost 1/4 of the way there.

I haven't worked out since Thursday, which I want to change tomorrow. I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow, at least for the first half of the day, so I'm hoping to be able to get up the motivation to work out in the afternoon, after a grocery shopping trip. With any luck, Mike will be home and I won't have to worry about planning a workout around kids' napping schedules.

I just finished planning my menus for the next week, and putting together a grocery list for tomorrow's shopping trip. I've been trying to shop regularly at Whole Foods on a budget, mostly just to prove to myself that I can do it. Last week, I did go a little over my budget, but it was for a good reason: my kids (I think) are finally starting to accept this new way of eating and were devouring the fresh fruits and veggies that I bought last weekend. They usually get a good share of them, but the past few weeks, I have refused to purchase boxes of easy, not-very-healthy boxes of crackers and snack foods. Instead, I'm pushing them towards fresh fruit, veggies, and things like yogurt. I got a little pushback from them - especially Baby #1 who has an INCREDIBLE sweet tooth - but I think they're finally starting to realize that I'm not kidding.

This week, we're attempting to cook lentils. I have never, ever, ever made any recipe with lentils in it - I've got my fingers crossed for the best! I'm also planning on making a dish with collard greens, and need all the prayers and wishes possible out there, so that my children don't turn their nose up at it!!

A couple of you have emailed or messaged me (find us on Facebook here ) asking just what I was doing for a diet. I think you secretly wanted the answer to be an easy-to-follow diet plan, with written instructions and recipes, etc. I'm sorry to say that it's not. Instead, I've been focusing on changing what I eat, when I eat it, and why I eat it. I'm focusing on the following things:

1) Keeping track of what I'm eating: This could also translate into "be conscious of your food intake." There are a lot of good food diaries out there, but I've been using Spark People, which I find incredibly user - friendly. Making sure that I account for every piece of food that goes into my mouth has been a hard adjustment, but I think it's actually the most important change that I've made over the past four weeks. I don't have a set goal for calories, fat, carbs or whatever to follow every day, but instead just try to keep a healthy balance. If for some reason, I have more fat at breakfast than usual, I make up for it by trying to find low-fat recipes for lunch and dinner. It's all about eating in moderation - which I keep track of with the food diary on Spark People. It's amazing how much just keeping track of my food changes my mindset. We had a dinner out last night that I had no control over - it was being prepared by someone else for us. Before, I would just say "Well, I can't control it, so I'd better not beat myself up about it and it doesn't really matter how much of it I eat - I'll just take the day off!" Now, however, I do my best to keep my portions moderate and fill my plate with whatever salad or veggies that I can find during that meal.

2) Making time for exercise: I've been trying to work out at least 5 times a week with 2 different workouts, one yoga/strength training and one cardio/aerobic. My goal is to get in 10 workouts every week, hopefully 5 of each. Some days that means that I work out twice - other days it's just once. My ultimate goal is to find a way to do at least one, hopefully two, workouts a day, but I just don't think that is possible right now, with three children (ages 5 and under!) running around me constantly.

3) Focus on drinking water instead of soda or coffee. I'll be the first to admit it, this is really hard for me. I'm trying to make soda a "special" drink, and limit my coffee to 1-2 cups a day. Some days are much easier than others (today was really hard!!).

4) Focus on changing ME, not my weight. You're probably wondering, "What does she mean?" It's really simple - I'm not losing weight here. Losing weight is a side effect of the fact that I'm focusing on bettering myself. Weight loss is definitely a priority for me, sure, but what's really important to me right now is making sure that I prioritize my health, whether that be physically, emotionally, or mentally. I'm working on changing ME and my mindset, not my weight.


That's really it. Those four principles are really the basis for my journey that's being documented on this blog. That's why when you open this website, you'll find blog posts from Ellie and I that are kind of all over the map. Sure, both of us want to lose the weight we've gained during our "mommy" days, but it's about more than that. We've let ourselves slide, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now, it's time to take back ourselves and try to make our lives better.

We can call it "The New Us Diet."


Think it will sell books? ;)

Do You Eat Your Sorrows

As the day dawned, I was treated to coffee in bed. I looked forward to taking my oldest to a skating party and felt confident in my ability to turn my recent eating woes into a positive outcome working back into a healthy eating pattern. Starting with yogurt for breakfast and a second cup of coffee, I figured if I added a little water I would be on track. I felt good.

Two load of laundry later, paired with wrapping gifts, showering, making beds and doing hair (three girls is busy work with hair) and I was out the door steering away from the sweets. I felt accomplished.

As Simone and I danced I saw myself on the monitors and felt somewhat sad by my appearance but also hopeful that I could continue on my weight loss journey. Then it happened....you know, those phone calls you dread?

My biological family has been in my life for 12 years. My birthmother, Sheila is my second mom and her husband Bob welcomed me with loving arms and hopes for my future like any father would. Within 2 years of our meeting, Bob was diagnosed with Brain Cancer. Luckily they lived in Minnesota and the Mayo Clinic was not far from their home. This journey has challenged the family and challenged my mom in ways I can't explain. Yesterday, as my mom celebrated her birthday, she said good bye to her soul mate. Bob passed away into eternal rest at 11:30 p.m. last night. My heart ached for her but also felt elated that her sorrows and anxiety waiting for his passing would now be over....but now there is so much to contend with. A potential trip to Minnesota (I don't fly), the three girls to take with me or somehow arrange at home and of course worry about my little brother who is 15.

So I got home and chose some kinda unhealthy food. As I ate my chips and salsa, I didn't feel guilty but I wondered would I continue on my destructive eating path that I had this week? Or would I find another way to deal with my sorrow. I am still not sure, however my question for you is, "Do you eat your sorrows" or grieve another way?

A little nervous...

...about stepping on the scale tomorrow, that is. I started the week doing really well, but the past couple of days have been really hard on me, and I'm worried about what that scale is going to say. Eek!!

I haven't been around much recently, and didn't even manage to get in a workout today. Tomorrow is another jam-packed day with a preschool open house in the morning and a birthday party in the evening. Whew! My house and my body are begging for some downtime!!

I find myself living on lists when I get this busy - my "to-do" list is my saving grace. Unfortunately, if it's not on that list, it usually doesn't get done. (and I ALWAYS accidentally leave something off of that list!!). I need to work harder at making sure that working out is on that list!!

I've hit a couple of emotional bumps this week, as well. I ended up not getting that job that I blogged about the other day. It was down to me and one other person (out of 9), and the other person won, based on "applicable experience." I'm frustrated, but I'm trying to keep a positive mindset about it. I was REALLY excited about this job - it seemed perfect for me and our home life, but I'm trying to let go and step back from all of those emotions surrounding the job. I need to remember that I am not the one in control, and maybe, just maybe, someone knows better than I do as to what I need and what my family needs. It's hard - and it's depressing. And it makes getting the energy to work out - or the finding motivation to avoid the cheaper, less healthy foods - extremely hard.

I've gotten a ton of responses about my last post, the "Plexiglass Effect," and I really appreciate them. Your responses are helping me step back and try to evaluate just what it is that I really want to be doing with my life, and what I want to be accomplishing with my days/time/energy. I appreciate that!

For now, I'm going to concentrate on giving myself credit (another step in the Beck Diet Solution )

So here it is - and I challenge you to make a list on your own, every night. (and a warning - I'm thinking of making this the challenge for the next week, just so you know to prepare!!). I live by lists, like I already mentioned, but this one is going to be different.

I challenge you to create - and share with someone (build that accountability!!) - a list of 5 things that you deserve credit for every day. It can be something small and seemingly insignificant (doing laundry, grocery shopping, returning a call or email), or something really big (volunteering your time, working out, finishing a project, etc). Whatever it is, I want you to sit down and come up with a list of 5 things that you deserve accolades for from that day. It's going to be hard, I'm sure - but I think the payoff will be huge!

My list for today:

1) I got my cleaning list checked off: (bathroom, kitchen, living room)

2) I sent out emails that I've been putting off for days, just because I was procrastinating.

3) I went to McDonald's for lunch with a friend and our kiddos and only had a side salad, diet coke, and a few of Baby #3's fries (HUGE for me!! I usually have a Big Mac meal and eat it ALL).

4) I managed to get everything ready for the preschool open house tomorrow, even thought I really didn't want to.

...and the biggest one for me today....

5) I went to the appreciation dinner tonight at church, only an hour or so after finding out that I didn't get the job (and after crying my eyes out about it), and actually ENJOYED myself. It took all of my strength to smile and forget about my disappointment, but I did, and it paid off in the end.




So how about you? What did you do today that you deserve credit for?

The Plexiglass Effect

First of all, a shout out to my own mommy - she's who coined the title for today's post. Thanks, Mom! :)

I mentioned a few days ago that I was working on a post about what I'm calling the "Plexiglass Effect." Well, here it is......it's still a work in progress, and I'd love to hear your thoughts regarding it. Leave a comment or send an email if you feel motivated to!

So, what exactly am I talking about? Remember last week when I posted about being in recovery mode? That's when the idea started taking shape. I was on the phone with my mom, and was telling her how exhausted I was from not really slowing down when everyone was sick. I had jumped back, feet first, into "mom" mode when I started feeling even remotely better. I wasn't 100%, but I was back to running errands, doing laundry, caring for the kids, etc. (It wasn't just me - Mike did as much as he could, but he took longer to recover than I did). This conversation led to a discussion about how we, as moms, hear all this advice about putting ourselves first and making time for ourselves, but so very often, we smile and nod and completely ignore the advice. In my mom's words, we "put a piece of Plexiglass between us and the advice giver, and it LOOKS like we're listening, but really we can't hear them."

I got to thinking about this over the next week, and asked many of you your thoughts. Some of you felt the same way I did - we heard all this advice and it made us feel guilty about not taking it. We listened to it, but didn't take the advice, and not taking the advice made us feel guilty. Some of you felt like the Plexiglass was a tool for your own happiness - you could appear to be listening, but you purposefully didn't take the advice and you were happy with that. I found it really interesting how different the responses were.

In my own life, I definitely use the Plexiglass.....I hear all of this advice about how I should:

-have a career
-further my education
-spend every waking moment playing with and engaging my children
-cook interesting, healthy meals ALL the time
-go out once a week just for me, like take a class, go get coffee, etc
-make time to read or for hobbies
-disinfect every toy
-never turn on the TV
-work out every day

.....and so on......

For me, I hear all of these words of advice, and I rarely ever take them. Sure, I listen and I smile and nod, but do I ever do any of those things on that list? Nope...and it makes me feel bad about myself. I feel like less of a human being because I don't have a post-graduate degree, or I didn't have a "career" before being a mom, or that I don't plan a craft or educational experience every day for my children. I feel guilty that I don't workout every day - heck, I hardly shower every other day! - or that I do use the electronic babysitter (ahem, the TV) on a daily basis so I can have 30 minutes (sometimes an hour) of peace.

All of those things lessen my self-worth. I feel bad that I'm not living up to this "mom" ideal - or even a "woman" ideal. Do I regret not having a career outside the home? Yeah, sometimes. I feel like I wasted the years I was at college because that degree is pretty useless in my life right now. At the same time, the fact that I'm not keeping a perfectly clean house or making home made meals every night makes me feel guilty and bad about myself. I just can't seem to win, if the game is played based on all of rules (advice) floating around out there.

It's frustrating. I used to joke that feminism (well, the side effects of the feminist movement) caused my depression. While that is purely a joke, sometimes I wonder what my life - and my self-worth - would be like if I wasn't being told that I could be whatever I wanted and could work whatever job that I wanted? If I wasn't told that I needed to have a career to be successful, would I be happier as a stay-at-home mom? I've always wanted to be a mom. I remember getting into arguments in my women's lit. classes in college that it was OKAY to be a stay at home mom. I was actually told by another female student that I wouldn't be living up to my potential and would be selling myself short if I married, had children, and stayed home with them. The Plexiglass effect to me was displayed in that college class - I listened, smiled and nodded, and totally disregarded that advice.

To an extent....

There will always be a part of me that wonders if I chose the right path, or if could have "done" or "been" so much more if I didn't become a mom. There will always be a part of me that hears all that advice given to girls to go get a degree, have a career, set your sights high, etc, and wonders if it isn't backfiring in the minds of some of those girls, like it did in my mind. Will they forever hear that advice and choose not to follow it, like I did, but constantly doubt their self worth from that moment on, like I do?

I wish I could be like those of you who use the Plexiglass to their advantage. You're very strong women!! I admire you.

For me, the Plexiglass is almost a curse, and I can't seem to break it. I'll keep plugging away, the best I can, but I think it will forever be something that I struggle with.

How about you?

Cookie alert!

Well, I did it. I baked cookies last night. Surprised?


I am proud to say that I only ate two of the cookies last night. I packaged up 3 dozen of them and sent them into work with Mike today, and kept about a dozen for us (to use in the boys' lunches, primarily). I am incredibly happy with myself and my willpower last night - AND I think I enjoyed the two cookies that I did have more than I enjoyed the 10 of them that I ate the last time I made this recipe.

As I was taking a tray of cookies out of the oven, I experienced what some may say is an epiphany, or a moment of clarity or enlightenment. The cookies that I was making have to rest on the hot cookie sheet for a minute before you transfer them to a cool plate or cooling rack to finish cooling. When you take them off of the pan after that first minute, they're soft - VERY soft.

I transferred over the first dozen from the pan to a plate just fine - it was during the transfer of the second dozen that the moment occurred. About 3 cookies into the process, I broke one. It just ripped right in half as I slid the spatula under the cookie. As my hand automatically reached for it, to grab it and pop into my mouth (after all, when you break a cookie, you have to eat it, right?), I found myself feeling like I was hovering over my body, watching myself like you'd watch a movie.

You know that moment in the horror film where the poor girl runs UP the stairs instead of out of the house and you just know that she's going to be dead in a few more minutes because now she's trapped upstairs? Your mind knows what she's going to do, but every fiber of your being is yelling at her to "Don't go upstairs!!!!!" That's how I felt last night when the cookie broke.

My body's response was purely automatic - I even found that I opened my mouth slightly in response to my hand reaching for the cookie. Like I was in a trance, I felt like I had no actual control over my actions. My mind was screaming, "NO!!! DO NOT EAT THAT COOKIE!!!" even as my hand was reaching for it.

And then somehow......my hand faltered. My mind had managed to grasp control again. Feeling like I'd just narrowly escaped some sort of bodily harm, I watched my hand re-form the cookie and transfer it (whole!) to the plate to cool. Even now, as the cookies sit in the container on the counter, I can't tell which one it was.

I realized last night that, even three weeks into this journey, I have a lot of habits that I need to break. Sneaking a bite of my son's mac and cheese as I clear his plate, having something sweet after dinner...I mean, every meal, not getting out of bed in the morning to work out, sitting on the couch watching rerun after rerun of Criminal Minds on TV instead of working out while watching those reruns, eating a snack before bed EVEN when I'm not hungry. All of those things I seem to do without thinking - it's automatic.

My challenge for myself this week (since I forgot to set one the other day) is to try and be more conscious of what I'm doing, whether it be regarding my eating habits or my working out habits. I need to notice what I'm doing before I can change the behaviour.

I've made such a big improvement in my life since Christmas day - and it's up to me to keep that forward momentum going. It's only going to get harder as I get closer and closer to my weight loss goal. All of these little changes are going to end up mattering.

I want to master them now - how about you?

PLATEAU

I hit mine. I am at 139 and holding. I have been working out so my decision is to increase work outs (hard to do with 3 kids, at home, schooling at home and getting life accomplished) or decrease eating, or both.

So I have been thinking. I do need to do a better job controlling portions. I had gotten back into eating a few sweets here or there so those have to be gone again. And as for food choices, I was lax over the weekend when the big girl turned 5!

So portion control is back in session, and exercise HAS to increase. I am going to try 2 work outs a day. One yoga/strength, and one cardio. Here's hoping that will assist me in breaking the plateau...oh and hopefully when longer days return we can go for bikes and runs outside!!!!!

What do YOU do when you Plateau?

More Tasty Tuesday's

Since Heidi already posted a recipe and I had planned on it, I thought I would give you a great veggie option :)

Tonight we had Yellow Split Pea Soup
1 pounds of Yellow Split Peas
1 small bunch of Green Onions
1/2 pound of Diced Carrots
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 bunch celery (and hearts) chopped
1 can of corn (drained)
4 cups of Veggie Stock
2 cups of Water
Tarragon (to taste)
Salt (to taste)
Pepper (to taste)

Place ALL ingredients in a slow cooker on High for 4 hours or Low for 8+ hours....voila!!!

If your kiddos are hesitant add a dollop of sour cream and make "Creamed Pea Soup"

Tasty Tuesdays

I'm starting a new habit. Every Tuesday, I'm going to post a new, healthy recipe for you guys to try out.

Today's Tasty Tuesday recipe for you is an old standby for us (and what we're having for dinner tonight!). It came to us through a Weight Watchers meeting....for those of you doing WW, it's 5 points a serving.

Here it is: Marsala-style Chicken

1.5 pounds skinless chicken breast
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp olive oil
3/4 cup fat free, low sodium chicken broth
1/3 cup Marsala wine
2 tsp cornstarch
2 tsp fresh chopped thyme
2 tsp fresh lemon juice
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp garlic powder
8 oz container of presliced mushrooms
1 tbsp light butter
1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley



Directions
Place chicken between 2 sheets of heavy duty plastic wrap. Pound to flatten to a 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into 2 inch pieces.

Combine flour, salt, and pepper in a large ziploc bag. Add chicken, seal, and shake to coat.

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium high heat. Add chicken; cook 4 to 5 minutes on each side until done. Remove chicken from pan and keep warm.

Combine broth and net 6 ingredients in a small bowl.

Coat pan with cooking spray and add mushrooms. Sautee 3 minutes or until tender. Add broth mixture; bring to a boil. Cook over medium high heat 4 minutes or until thick, stirring constantly. Stir in butter, spoon over chicken. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.

Number of Servings: 4

Reasoning

I'm reading this great book, at the recommendation of a friend. It's called "The Beck Diet Solution" and you can find it here. It's a series of exercises (cognitive, not like working out!) that will help retrain my thinking so that I "think like a thin person." I'm not sure how much stock I put in the whole theory behind it, but since I know that my rationalizing and thinking sabotages my weight loss all the time, I thought I'd give it a try. It's an easy, good read so far - I do recommend it to you if you're looking to freshen up your mindset.

The first exercise is to come up with a list of reasons for why you're losing weight. This list is supposed to be your "rescue" card - what you look at when you're at a crisis and are about to overeat or about to not workout or about to sabotage your diet in any way. They suggest that you write it on an index card or something that you can carry with you - or post it in a prominent place in your home, etc. As I was reading, I thought, "What can be more prominent than the blog?" I'm admitting to you guys and to myself - in black and white - just why this is important to me.

So, drumroll please, my reasons for trying to lose weight:

1) I want to feel better about myself.
2) I miss running.
3) I want to be able to run and play with the boys.
4) I don't want to embarrass my children, because I'm the "fat" mom.
5) I don't have any money and can't afford new, bigger clothes.
6) I would really like to be able to fit into my winter coat.
7) I will feel so much healthier if I lose weight.
8) I had a rough delivery with Baby #3 due to blood pressure issues. I want to do everything I can to prevent that happening again, if we decide to have more children.
9) I feel good when I cook and eat healthy foods.
10) I will be able to shop in the "regular" section of a store - which has clothes that are age-appropriate for me. I'm not ready to shop in the "women's" section yet.


So, there it is. The top 10 reasons why I'm setting out on this weight loss adventure. For me, the weight loss is first and foremost my goal. I know some of you have other goals when it comes to parenting or your own self. What are your reasons for taking on this task? It's not easy - we will all hit obstacles. Write out (or admit) your reasons for heading out on the journey, and maybe they'll help remind you of your motivation when you hit those obstacles.

The Evidence

that I did in fact attend the formal on Saturday :)

What is Your Put Up....

last night as I lay in bed, silently I played the "put down the mom" game. You know, the one where you say..."I wish I worked out today, I wish I ate better, I wish I looked better, I wish I had more patience, I wish I hadn't punished my child today, I wish I HAD punished my child today...I wish I were a better wife....and on and on". So many nights I find myself wondering how I could have been better that day...and self-examination isn't a bad thing however self-doubt and criticism of said self is something that you (and I) need to avoid.

So I began to change my train of thought. What could I change for me tomorrow and what did I like about me today?

I decided instead of putting ourselves down, we should put ourselves up. So I thought. I realized I cuddled my girls (which is sometimes a challenge for me as I don't really love touchy feely emotions), I shopped for my children to provide healthful meals in the coming weeks. I made sure the house was tidy and picked up for the start of the week, and I made some goals for myself that could be a positive spin on the day, turning into the week, the month, the year...ah, my whole life.

So this morning I got up rejuvenated, with new confidence (even if I have to fake it a while til I make it for real). I got the girls dressed. The beds were made (thanks mom), got two loads of laundry in, taught the girls about MLK, made breakfast, cleaned breakfast, nursed the baby twice, put the baby down for a nap, set up a craft and worked out....and the icing on the cake, I actually LOST weight this weekend. I have no idea how but I am down another 1.3 pounds :) CHEERS!

Here's to put ups. Pump yourself up today. For you. For your spouse. For your kids.

What is your put up?

For the kids...

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really doing damage with this whole weight loss thing when it comes to the kids. Everyone tells me that "Oh, you're setting such a great example with taking care of yourself," and "You're showing them that it's okay to have self-worth," and things like that. But sometimes I doubt this advice, I'll admit it.

Last night at dinner, Baby #1 asked "Are we eating this because we're trying to lose weight?" His words cut right through me. HE doesn't need to lose weight! If anything, he needs to gain weight - he's always been in the 3rd - 5th percentile when it comes to weight. For awhile, we were having to give him Carnation Instant Breakfast every day because the doctor wanted him to gain more weight.

His words worried me. This isn't the first time that he's asked me about why we're eating what we are - he's very focused on what's healthy and what's not, and wanting to know the difference. I try to just answer his questions and let him know that he isn't losing weight, but that Mommy and Daddy love him (and his brothers) so much that we want him to be as healthy as possible, but I don't know if this is the approach to take or not.

I really don't remember much about my eating habits from when I was younger. I don't really remember whether or not we had to "clear our plate" before we could leave the table or not. What I do know is that it is really hard for me to throw out food, and it always has been. For that reason, we've never instituted a "Clean Plate" policy at our house - when they feel full, they can be done. There aren't any snacks until our normal snack time, so they'll get hungry if they weren't really full, but I've never felt comfortable forcing them to eat everything. I always thought that if we treated it like this, we'd be less likely to encourage overeating and weight gain.

But Baby #1's comments last night have me worried again. What if I'm now doing the opposite and leading him to obsess over his weight and food choices?

I'll admit, the topic of exercise and weight loss has been prevalent in our house the past few weeks, with this whole "The New Us" venture. It's exciting and fun, and both Mike and I are doing really well with our weight loss (I'm down 16 pounds, he's down 13 pounds). We're really trying to make sure each of us gets ample time to work out and has healthy food choices when it comes to our diet. We've not made any comments to the boys about how we "have" to exercise because we're fat, or we "have" to eat only veggies because anything else is not healthy. We have had a few conversations where we're brainstorming about eating strategies (what Mike can eat at work, what I can have for a quick breakfast, etc), and I guess I didn't realize just how much the kids are picking up on it.

I know that parenting is a struggle and that you're always second-guessing your decisions and strategies, but I wonder if I'm handling this weight loss thing the "right" way with the kids? Am I doing enough to make sure that I don't scar their eating habits and weight for the rest of their lives? What IS the best way to lose weight with kids around?

I know that I have boys, and a lot of people don't associate weight issues and eating disorders with males. However, it does happen, and with my history of weight problems, I want to do everything that I can to ensure that my children don't follow down my path and experience the same struggles that I do. I just don't know if I'm doing it the right way, though. I guess I won't know until they get older, and that's what scares me.

Oy. Parenting is so scary sometimes!





Who am I kidding - parenting is so scary ALL of the time!!!!!

And it ran me over....

the wagon that is...as I slipped gracefully into my jeans this morning...well, okay, not gracefully. More like I needed some pliers to help me back into those size 6 pants and some wiggling on the bed. I would have made a lovely commercial.

Three days out of the groove and I already feel a difference. Its amazing the changes I saw in the two solid weeks of work out. I was thinner, my legs seemed more toned and the cherry on top? I felt good about myself.

The good news is that tomorrow is another day. Its a day to refocus. My parents will be returning home. My husband will return to work. The cake from the Birthday has disappeared (though I did only have one serving), and today I replensihed the bounty of fruits and veggies in the crisper.

Tomorrow I plan to grab that fork lift I spoke of yesterday and resume the work I set out to accomplish just 17 days ago. I want to be 126 pounds by my birthday. June 30. 126. Odd number I am sure, however its pre-pregnancy for my last child. And that number felt good emotionally and physically. I know that new 126 will feel different for after the pregnancies I have had in the past 5 years my body seems to have made a shift. A big one! Unless I have some "assistance" from those in the world of medicine my 126 will take on a new form...but nevertheless a form I can be proud of. One that bore 3 beautiful girls and one that returned to being the mom I desired...a hot one :)

THE GOAL FOR TOMORROW: Exercise and Eat Healthy. Three Small Portions of traditional meals and 2 snacks. NO PROCESSED SUGARS. Fruits are allowed :)

I also plan to make a lovely Bean Salad tomorrow. My dear friend Erin (whom I miss), used to make one with Italian Dressing. After my last child's birth she offered it however the infant fussed with anything bland so adding piles of beans seemed to be a bad choice. So now, since the child is up and running (almost), I have added it back to my diet. My husband and I have made it 3 times in the last two weeks and besides tasting amazing, its good nutrition that seems to keep you satiated without the excess caloric density that my comfort foods seem to have!

Bean Salad
2 cans of Red Kidney Beans
2 cans of Garbanzo Beans
2 cans of Cannellini Beans
1 can of corn
2 sliced green onions
1/4 cup EVOO (thanks Rachael Ray)
1/3 cup Red Wine or Balsamic Vinegar
Dash of Salt, Pepper and my favorite herb...Tarragon
Mix Well, serve chilled!!!!!! Don't forget to rinse your beans. Store and Enjoy for the week :) Happy Healthy Eating :)

Back in the groove......

I'm proud to say that I have worked out three days in a row now! :) Friday, I was on the treadmill when I got a phone call that turned into a phone interview for a job that I really want, so I took that as sign from God that I was doing the right thing. ;)

Yesterday and today, I've worked on finding my way around the new Wii Fit that we got. I'm working on creating special routines for myself, which has taken me a little bit of time to figure out. I just finished a yoga and strength training workout that I really enjoyed, and think that I finally found something that will work in the mornings for me. My goal is to get up this week and do this routine before the kiddos get up. We'll see how it works - I think it might work. It's quiet enough that I should be able to do it without making too much noise. As long as my alarm doesn't wake them up, then we should be golden!

I'm still working on trying to get the treadmill workout in. I think that I can manage to do it at night, as long as the kids go to bed early enough. My biggest problem with working out at night is really just that I get so revved up and energized with working out that I find it hard to calm down enough to go to sleep in time to get up early enough in the morning. I think that if I do it immediately after the boys go to bed, though, I will have enough time. We'll see how it works!

I'm happy with how last week shaped up, with no weight gain, but I'm striving for a loss this week. My goals for this week are:

1) Continue drinking my water. This is usually really hard for me, because I just love coffee so much. However, I've been forcing myself to always have a glass of water out (and I make myself drink 2 glasses before letting myself have coffee), and so I've actually been meeting my goal of drinking 8 glasses a day.

2) Work out at least once a day - in some form. This could include a walk with the boys, the treadmill, or the Wii Fit. I'm going to try to be flexible with my workouts, so that I can squeeze them into our schedule a little bit better.

That's it for my goals this week. I have a couple meetings this week, as well as a dinner (that I'm not cooking, so I have no control over it), so I really want to focus on just eating healthy portions. I might throw in a food goal next week, but for now, I want to continue practicing my healthy eating habits, and focus more on figuring out this workout dilemma that I have.

My goal is to be down another two pounds this week - think I can make it? We have exactly 1 month until we're at Mike's interview at Michigan State, and I really need to be down another 10 pounds or so in order to fit into my clothes. I'm getting closer, but it's not quite enough....so now I'm giving it all that I've got to get there!!

I'm excited to start back up this week - how about you?!?!?!?!

For those of you who have a Wii Fit - what are your favourite workouts? Any advice?

I'm afraid...

of what the scale is going to say, so I am avoiding it like the plague. I have done so well up until yesterday. Every day until yesterday I have worked out. I have eaten healthy and made good choices. I am down a total of 9 pounds with 12 to go, back to pre-4th pregnancy weight. I will NEVER be my true pre-pregnancy weight again and I just need to accept that. This week has been overwhelming and hectic. We had our Nature Camp on Tuesday for our Large Homeschool Group. We had our Catholic Homeschool Group at our house Wednesday. I had 2 playdates and babysat one morning on top of our schooling, errands, dance and every day chores. To top it off, our oldest hit the big "05". I know, its silly but I was emotionally drained from it. She was born in 2005, and turned "5" yesterday. I wanted it to be perfect. I planned and executed with great style and grace but also fell off the eating wagon yesterday morning when she said "please mom, have a donut". It was HER birthday. But then it lead to "PLEASE MOM, its my birthday, will you have cake?" How could I possibly say no to her when she was asking for me to share in the celebration of her life. Then today I just wanted to throw in the towel. Its so much easier to go back to my old ways, to throw in the towel and stop exercising. To eat what I want. Heck, most of what I ate tasted better anyway. Chips and Cheese or Bean Salad. What would you want? Pizza or Spinach Salad with Gorgonzola, Veggie Chicken and Walnuts? Okay, I can actually say the latter two options now sound good to me...but yesterday, they just didn't.

I think this is how it all begins. You hear people make resolutions every year and yet, each year they sound remarkably similar to the year before. Great expectations, great hopes and thoughts of changes being good but it seems keeping to the changes is the main problem...not making them initially. I had worked out consistently every day until yesterday. Then, I skipped. I was exhausted, ate poorly and woke up feeling pretty glum about myself today. There was sobbing on the floor of my bathroom because of how I felt about myself and the fact people may see me looking as I do. My self-esteem seems to have fallen off the planet. And I guess its time to look for some new esteem about myself and my body. So I started with a cup of coffee...and....some outdoor chores. I skipped breakfast and now I am ravenous. Its almost 3 p.m. so I grabbed a few chips and called it good.

Tonight I have a formal dinner to attend for my husband's job and I am dreading it. Dreading the dress. Yes, its a "6" and I am proud to fit in it but we're sitting at a table with mom's of one child. Those of you who have more remember how you "bounced back" after one. By 7 weeks, I was sitting comfortably in my jeans from pre-prenancy. Now, well...I just threw those jeans away.

So with low self-esteem, and lack of work outs and no nutritional value to my day I must drag myself up to shower and get dressed. I am afraid I am going to fail at my lifestyle change. I am afraid I am going to fail at my choice to exercise daily. I am afraid I am going to look horrendous in my clothes. I am just plain afraid. My husband's response was to be happy for what I have and grow up. Okay, I will take the be happy with what I have but the grow up hurt. Women are so different from men. Its not a maturity thing, its an esteem issue.

As mom's we lose so much of ourselves in our children (and as I watch them, I am grateful for them) but I also wonder....how can I boost myself, my esteem and teach them to do the same. How can I keep me and still give my all to them?

Wish me luck. Luck for a decent night. Luck for feeling like I can hold my head up and be proud to say "I am a stay at home mom" and go out in public (in the said dress), and luck for getting back in the wagon tomorrow...even if it does take a fork lift. For truly I know, to give my girls good self-esteem, to give of myself to them, I need to be in a good place, and today...I'm just afraid I can't find it.

A Fun New Venture

Well, this seems to be the week for trying new things at our house!

Last night, I made my first ever quiche for dinner. It was great - and SOOOOOO easy! I'm not sure why I haven't made one before. Maybe I just assumed that it was loaded with horrible things for you or too hard to make. Neither of which are true, especially when you pair it with a big old salad, like we did. All of the boys loved it, too, which is always a bonus when you try a new recipe.

We managed to get our hands on a Wii Fit this week - a store actually had them in stock, AND I had our Christmas gift card for said store with me. It was like the planets aligned and the Wii Fit went into our shopping cart. I'm a little nervous about trying it out - but that'll be my next duty after this blog.

Weigh-in was today, and I'm proud to say that I'm exactly where I was last Saturday. Considering last Saturday was the day that my insides were coming outside and I hadn't eaten or kept anything down for 2 days prior to my weigh-in, I'm really happy with my weight today. I'm assuming that I gained some of that weight back during the week (since I wasn't sick anymore), so that I truly have lost those 4 pounds that I claimed last week. I'm really happy with the weight loss so far - 16 pounds is huge in three weeks!! I'm back into pants that I haven't worn since last summer because they didn't fit. I'm a happy girl!!

I managed to keep my eating in check this week, even with the bonus of consistent working out. This is HUGE for me, as well - I think my new way of eating and thinking about the foods before I shove them in my mouth is truly starting to take hold in my mind. Sure, there are hard moments (and I did have a small bowl of ice cream last night!), but I'm hanging in there and doing my best - and NOT getting discouraged. I'm taking care of myself, body, mind, and spirit. :)

On to a few new things:

1) I was offered a job yesterday (YAY!)
2) I turned down the job yesterday (Boo!) It just wouldn't work for our family.
3) I got a phone call about a job that I'd applied for about a month ago last night. Interview tonight (Yay!!). This job actually USES my degree and lets me work with high schoolers, which is something I really enjoy. Keep your fingers crossed - it's a work at home job with flexible hours and some traveling (all of which is VERY compatible with Mike's schedule).
4) Ellie and I were asked to start a group on MomsLikeMe.com about this blog (Yay!). The Maine group is up, and the New Jersey one is on it's way. Check us out at:

Maine.MomsLikeMe.com

Things are changing over here, quite a bit. The stress levels are rising as I try to figure out how thing are going to shake out. The glass of wine after the kids go to bed has started appearing......along with the ice cream. I've managed to control myself with both, but it's still a struggle every time, especially for the ice cream.

I'm working on a theory called the "Plexiglass Effect" and need some anecdotes before finishing up the post. If you have a minute, take the time to answer some of these questions (either via email or in the comments section here) - you might find yourself quoted on this blog or on MomsLikeMe.com! :)



So, what is the Plexiglass Effect? In a "Readers Digest" form, it's what we moms do to cope. We put a piece of plexiglass up in front of ourselves - and all of the advice and directions we hear about how to take time for ourselves, or how we should live the "ideal" life as moms just bounces back off of us. It looks like we're listening through the clear glass, but nothing gets through to us.

What words of advice (about parenting, about exercise or healthy living, about anything!!) have you heard but ignored?

How do you feel about that? Guilty? At ease? Proud?

Do you feel like this needs to change? (Either your actions or the advice itself) Why or why not?

I think I have to make a change.....

Uggghh...I'm throwing in the towel. The white flag is waving...my hands are up...

(Okay, I can't think of any more surrendering/giving up images)

I've been trying for 3 weeks now to get up before the children and work out. I can probably count on one hand the number of times that it's been successful. I don't know how those of you who work out in the morning do it. So, I'm giving up the morning ideal...I guess it's back to working out after the kids go to bed.

I would MUCH prefer to get up and start my day with a workout. It's just so much more enjoyable for me. I can't stand working out at night - I'm tired from the day and just want to relax, not get revved up. I have a hard time going to sleep after working out. But, I don't think I have any other choice.

EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING. my children wake up as I'm trying to work out. Today was no exception.

They normally wake up at 6:45 am to get ready for school. I went to bed early, and set my alarm for 5:30 am - plenty of time to work out and get washed up before they wake up, right?

Ummm.....NOPE. By 5:40, all three of them were up, crying out for me (which is probably how the second and third one woke up - the first one stood at the top of the stairs and yelled at the top of his lungs "CAN I COME DOWN?!?!?!"). They're now going to be tired, with more than an hour less of sleep under their belts, and I can't work out. Grrrr....It starts my day in a cranky mood, and I'll be honest, I hate it.

I've tried working out during the day - which is fine if it's a non-preschool day. But, if it's a preschool day, otherwise known as Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, I don't have enough time to get the baby to sleep, workout, and clean myself up to a presentable state before having to go get the oldest at school. It's incredibly frustrating.

So - I guess I am asking for your thoughts and prayers. I need to keep up the motivation to work out, and the idea of working out at night makes me sick. It's going to take all of my willpower to try and do that. Any help you can send my way is much appreciated!!!

Thanks.
-Heidi

The Recovery Taboo

I'm in recovery mode this week, and I'm proud to admit it.




Well, that's not entirely true. Let's try it again.



I'm in recovery mode this week, and I feel really guilty to admit it. I will admit it, if you push me hard enough, but I feel extremely guilty about it. I've been talking to friends this week, most of them other moms, and I've found one general similarity amongst us: we all lay much more guilt on ourselves than anyone else.

We blame ourselves for everything. The kitchen isn't clean? It's because WE didn't get around to cleaning it. (Just forget about the fact that most of us do not live alone and therefore, we have OTHER PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE WHO CAN CLEAN). This is not a dig on significant others - I'm not going that route with this post. (Breathe, Mike, this isn't about you...). But we, as women, seem to want to do it all. We want to make things so easy on everyone else that we care for - and so we take on too much.

Everyone who knows me in real life is probably giggling to themselves right now. I am the Queen of Saying Yes. If you need something done, just ask Heidi to do it - she can't say no! I find myself saying yes to something, even while my whole body is screaming no. My brain is yelling at me to "Abort! Abort!" but my mouth just doesn't get the message.

And sometimes, we have to admit that we can't do it all. We need recovery time. So right now, I am in recovery and am trying hard to overcome the guilt that I feel for taking a few days (or a week) to let myself recover from doing too much.

Last weekend, we were sick. Violently ill was my favourite phrase for the experience - we were the sickest we've been in a long time. Somehow, I was the first to recover from the puking....and so on Sunday, merely 48 hours after being too sick to move off of the bathroom floor (as I sobbed on the phone to my mother, who lives 5 states away, trying to get her to drive through a snowstorm to rescue me), I was back to running errands, doing the bazillion loads of laundry that had accumulated during the illness, and letting everyone else nap as I washed the dishes, mopped the floor, restocked our groceries, and cooked bland meals for us to attempt to eat.

I didn't let myself recover enough - Monday and Tuesday are blurs for me. I was exhausted, barely staying awake as I jumped back into the school and home routine.

That is why now, I am in recovery. I am letting my body rest - workouts have been few and far between, and when I do get up the energy to work out, they're very mild. I'm concentrating more on choosing healthy foods to eat, and catching up on much-needed sleep (and reading).

I'm not sure how this will effect my weigh-in on Saturday, but you know what? The mental sanity that I'm keeping, and the excitement of starting up again when I'm rested, are worth it to me. I did cheat, and weigh myself this morning, and I'm still the same - no more, no less.

And you know what? I'm okay with that. We moms need to make sure that we're taking care of ourselves - our WHOLE selves.

That's why I'm in recovery, and proud of it.

I'm Gonna Blow...

at least that is how I felt yesterday. I sat down to blog so many times but I couldn't bring myself to do it. As a homeschool mom, I choose to be home with my children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Prior to the graduation of my Dear Husband, we were unable to afford a babysitter much, so dates were few and far between. Since the move, and the change of locations, its been hard to find a teenager to pay and trust with 3 children under five. So, needless to say, I am needing a break. Over the holiday's we traveled to Virginia to visit my parents. They had noted it was a "vacation" for me, and I should enjoy it. Unfortunately, my vacation was in my parents house, with 2 sick kids, being sick myself and then leaving my parents to fend for themselves while they came down with our nasty bug....needless to say, there was no break.

Back in the fall I tried to find something for me (a cake decorating class--very good for a mom needing to lose weight as I made 3 pounds of icing a week), however with my husband traveling, I missed the first class we actually did anything in and chose to just move forward and forget about it all....ah...it probably saved me calories but also probably sent me one step closer to that "Sanatorium" located on "Sanatorium Drive" in a nearby town.

In any case, the stress of the holiday's, the overwhelming fear of failing my children and the sadness over my oldest turning five, paired with her attitude yesterday sent me into a tailspin. In times like this...I usually like to reach for some snacks. Chocolate. Cake. Candy. And for a change and added health benefit, some VEGGIES....in BLEU CHEESE DRESSING :).

However, yesterday, I tried to keep myself away from it all. There was not a snack to be found in the house, outside a cheese stick which my youngest two claimed for themselves. So I made it...I made it without devouring the entire box of cookies, the entire cake in one sitting and the bag of candy that had yet to be opened. I did make a fresh batch of granola for a Homeschool meeting at my house on Wednesday, however I only ate one piece to make sure it wasn't burnt.

Instead, I worked out, and I was glad I did. I am down a total of 7 pounds. I have 12 pounds to go to be pre-pregnancy of my last child. I was able to comfortably fit back in 6's this week, and I began to smile as I stepped on the floor for that second work out yesterday to blow off steam, instead of reaching for that second bag of candy that I probably would have grabbed had it been in the house.

So, for you, I ask, how do you get "mom" time? How do you find a place for yourself? How do you blow of steam on those not so perfect days of mothering......I guess my new comfort is exercise. What's yours?

As Promised: Shopping on a Budget

Alright, we're slowly recovering here at the house. I'm feeling about 95%, Mike is getting there, at about 75%, and the boys are each doing significantly better. While I have a few minute reprieve from entertaining the children (Thank you, Word World!!), I'm going to try and crank out the budget post.

As many of you have gathered, money is tight for us. Mike works about 80 hours a week, but is salaried for 40, and that salary is very difficult to raise a family of 5 on. His schedule makes it very hard for me to find work, as the cost of child care in our area is just outrageous. I was working for awhile, but found that most of my money was going to pay for child care for the boys, and it was adding major stress into our lives.

That was about 2 years ago. While I've always been a stingy shopper (I don't like spending money), I found a whole new meaning to the phrase "on a budget" when I was no longer working. Now, trying to stretch that budget to buy the higher priced, fresh fruit and veggies and good cuts of meat (as opposed to the cheaper, convenience food that's loaded with fat and calories and salt and other fillers) has been pretty difficult. Some tricks that I've found that work for us:

1) Beans, beans, beans. Not only are they good for you, but they're yummy! I try to make at least one to two bean dishes a week. I buy them from the bulk dried section of the store, which is MUCH cheaper. If you can't find bulk dried beans, get the little $2 bags of them, rehydrate them, and save some for later. Beans, once rehydrated, can be frozen in some of the cooking water you used to rehydrate them for up to 3 months. SUPER cost saver - yes, a can of beans is only around $1, but you can get at least 3 cans worth of beans out of one bag!!

2) Try "slow" cooking. What does that mean? Make as much as you can from scratch. I know some of us don't have that much time, but really, all it takes is a little prep work and a good crock pot. For example, if I have a free day on the weekend, I'll make a lasagna - from scratch, it's less that $10 and MUCH better than the $20 Stouffer's version - and I'll make two for the price of one store-bought lasagna. They freeze great, and then I have one for another night when I DON'T have time to prep. Why a crock pot, you may ask? One night of a roasted chicken or roast beef/pork/whatever you want to eat in a crockpot can make dishes for the whole week! All it takes is 5 extra minutes in the morning to set it up before you leave.

3) Play the sales. I'm not a big coupon fan, but I do it, most of the time. Usually an extra 30 minutes of coupon clipping can save me about 30% on my grocery bill. It takes time, but it's worth it when every penny counts. I find out what roast is on sale, and base my meals for the week around that sale item. Then, I match up my coupons to the menu list. I'm sure I could save more if I only bought the items that were on sale AND I had a coupon for, but usually those items are the convenience foods, which I'm trying to avoid.

4) Don't overbuy. I know that sounds like basic, common sense, but while we were sick this weekend, I cleaned out our pantry. (I know, I'm a dork!) Want to know what I found? I found at least 10 half-eaten boxes of cereals and snack foods that were going bad (or had already gone bad). I obviously was overbuying things for lunches and snacks - and we were overeating!! It was easy to snack at our house, because we had a grocery store behind the pantry door. I've found that I can buy higher-quality, fresh snacks and dried fruits if I DON'T overbuy. Yes, I suppose in the long run I'm purchasing less food for my $$, but I'm also not wasting any, AND we're not eating it just because it's there and we have the munchies.

Now that it's all written out, it just seems so common sense. However, so many of us just buy the sale items, or think that bigger is better, and then when we try to buy the healthier items, we freak out. "We can't do this!" we think. "It's too expensive to eat healthy!"

I'm proud to say that I've managed to feed our family for the past two weeks on $100, with only shopping at Whole Foods. (I know that we were sick this weekend, but I'm just postponing those meals, and bought enough for the following week yesterday, so that doesn't really come into play for our budget - I'm not fudging the details on you guys!!).

Here are some of the recipes that I'm using this next week:



Homemade Veggie Lasagna:

6 whole wheat lasagna noodles
1 15 oz part skim ricotta cheese
1 8 oz block of mozzarella cheese, shredded (buy a block, it's cheaper. Just a hint, though - mozzarella is soft, so stick it into the freezer for 30 minutes before you try to shred it)
1 jar of store-bought spaghetti sauce (I do cheat for this one, but you can do it yourself if you have a good recipe!!)
2 cups of any chopped veggie that's on sale (this week, I did zucchini, onion, and tomatoes)

Boil pasta until slightly softened. If you're using regular noodles (not whole wheat), you don't have to boil them first. Just skip this step

Pour 1/3 of the spaghetti sauce into an 11x7 inch baking dish. Layer 3 noodles on top. In a small bowl, mix 1/3 of the spaghetti sauce with the entire tub of ricotta cheese. Spread this mixture over the noodles in the baking dish. Cover with all of the veggies, and half of the mozzarella cheese. Layer with 3 more noodles, and then the rest of the spaghetti sauce.

Bake at 375 degrees, covered, for 50-55 minutes. Uncover, sprinkle the remaining mozzarella cheese on top, and then bake for another 10 minutes, uncovered. Let stand for 10 minutes before slicing.

Serves 6 - 8, and costs lest than $10 for the entire meal!




In order to save space, and give proper credits for the next recipe, follow this link to find another favourite:

Black Bean and Sweet Potato Enchiladas (about $10 to make, if you use leafy greens that are on sale and bulk beans)



Bean and Beef Chili

1/2 lb ground beef (I used 95% lean, grass fed)
2 cloves garlic
1 cup black beans
1 cup red kidney beans
1 can diced tomatoes
2 cups beef broth, low sodium
2 cups water
1/2 small white onion
1 green pepper, diced
1 red pepper, diced
2 tsp cinnamon
3 tsp chili powder (more or less, to taste)
1/3 cup packed brown sugar

Brown ground beef, along with the garlic cloves (pressed through a garlic press).

After meat is browned, add all ingredients in a large crock pot. Cook on low for 8-10 hours. Makes about 12 servings. Costs less than $10, unless you have to buy spices new.



Last but not least, when it comes to budget, don't forget the easiest ones of all:

1) Pork roast: Slice an onion into wedges. Layer it on the bottom of a crock pot. Add 1/2 of a peel of an orange (not the orange, not OJ, just the peel). Lay a high-quality pork roast on top of the peel and onion. Add 1 cup of water. Sprinkle with nutmeg and allspice. Cook on low heat for 6 -8 hours. Add water as necessary. (leftovers: pork bbq, pork fajitas)

2) Roasted chicken: Same thing - cut up an onion, stuff it inside of the cavity of a whole roasting chicken. Lay it in a crockpot, and sprinkle with oregano, lemon zest (peel works best, just like the pork roast), thyme, and a bay leaf. Roast for 4-5 hours, on low heat. (leftovers: soup, pasta salad, chicken salads)

3) Roast beef: high-quality beef roast, can of diced tomatoes, and 1 cup of strongly brewed coffee. Add rosemary and a bay leaf. Just before finished (about 30 minutes left), add cut up carrots, onions, and celery. Leftovers make great shepherd's pie, fajitas, salads, and sandwiches.

Whew. That was long. Sorry!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

First of all, I apologize for not being around since Thursday. A very nasty stomach bug has invaded our house, and pretty much all five of us have been glued to the couch for the past 24 hours. (This would be the "ugly" part of the post title).

I just wanted to report in to you guys as to how the week shaped up for me. There were definitely good moments, bad moments, and the previously mentioned ugly moments. So, here it is, in a nutshell:

The Good: I successfully managed to start adding carbs back into my diet, without overeating them. Mike and I even went out to celebrate a great moment he had (he won a national prize for some research that he did this past year!), and I managed to make healthy choices at the restaurant. The best part: I'm down another 4 pounds this week. I'm sure some of that weight loss is related to the stomach bug for the past 24 hours, but I'll take it!


The Bad: I was not successful with weaning myself off of coffee this week, one of my goals for the week. I managed to get down to 1 - 2 cups of coffee a day, and 1 diet soda, but I haven't been able to get down lower than that. I think I'll continue that goal into next week. Also, on the bad side, I was not able to work out every day, which really bothered me. I've had a hard time getting in that workout in the course of my day-to-day commitments. It's really bothering me that I haven't been able to workout - I'm fighting the desire to just give up on the workouts. I know that I need them, but the desire to get up and workout when I'm so tired from my daily life is just nonexistent. I need to work on that.


The Ugly: Already mentioned. ;)


Overall, I'd say that the week was more of a success than a fail, and I've got a couple blog posts rolling around in my mind (the cost of eating healthy: shopping on a budget; the struggles of working out; making "family friendly" healthy meals) that I'll work on as soon as I get a spare minute away from the puke and poop extravaganza that's happening at our house this weekend.

I'm down 16 pounds, which is a huge success in itself! I never thought I'd be here already!! :)

Crash and Burn!

You've been there...well, if you have ever tried to lose weight, you probably have. Its the day when things go wrong. Before you are out of bed, you have one child screaming they are hungry, the second child waking the third child up and you are running in circles wondering who to tend to first. Its that type of day that makes you say "just one chocolate", "its only one cookie", "a donut is my friend".

Usually when days start like that for me its hard to shake. I take that back, rarely do I shake that feeling of being on edge and needing something sweet to make life better. Something or somethings to make me feel better...and then by lunch my diet has been ruined, so I eat as I wish, skip the workout and plan to head back to the program tomorrow.

Today was that day. In fact, that first paragraph was my morning. I had to hold my breath so I wouldn't start the day yelling.

By 10 a.m. not only had I been thorugh a trying morning, I also had a parent probably want to kill me as my 2 year old knocked her one year old off a chair at the dance studio...and the emotions didn't stop there....

Tonight however, I don't need to have regret. I don't need to question my actions...because I steered clear of all sweets and sugars. Of course, I turned to Heidi, and my friend Colleen as well...and I even got my work out in today too.

So today, I planned to post about crashing and burning, failing at the diet, and shoving the exercise to the wayside, but I didn't do it.....

Instead of crashing and burning, I rose and overcame! To a better tomorrow!!!!!!

The Need for Support

Hello, my name is Heidi, and I'm a food addict. I'm an obsessively compulsive rationalizer.




Sometimes all it takes is a little support, I think. Maybe those support groups that everyone makes fun of have the right idea. We are social creatures: we need each other during our good times and our bad times, during our successes and failures.

If you're not one for cheesy, sappy posts, you might want to leave now and try back tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be grumpy and snarky again tomorrow, so you'll get your usual dose of sarcasm and bitterness.....but today I'm thankful, and I want to share it with all of you.

I have tried the whole diet thing so many times in the past year, and have had no success. This time has been different. It's been almost two weeks now, and I'm MORE excited than ever to eat healthily and workout. While I was working out on the treadmill this morning, I was trying to figure out why. WHAT was so different this time around, that I felt like I was actually able to accomplish my goals? WHY was this time so much more energizing and "do-able?"

(I will add that I'm not the most graceful person in the room - when I realized the answer, I DID almost fall off the treadmill)

The difference this time has been in support. The amount of support that I have received over the past two weeks has been incredible. It's come from you reading this blog, it's come from Ellie, as we talk about our day-to-day struggles, it's come from people I don't even know who have happened upon this blog. It's come from family phone calls as they encourage us and share ideas and recipes.

But most of all it's come from Mike, and I want to say thank you.

I have already worked out and showered this morning. It's not even 10 am!! (I did actually think that the world might stop spinning, but it hasn't so far, so we're safe). Both of the big boys are at school - and I didn't have to drive them there!

Mike is a medical resident. Each month he works a different rotation, which means different schedules and responsibilities, but the basics are always the same: He works at least 80 hours a week. Usually, this means that he's gone by 4:30 am and not home until after 6:30 pm. This month, it means that he works every day of the week except one.

Today was his one day off this week. Instead of asking to sleep in (which I think any sane person would request on their one day off during a week), he asked to take the big boys to their respective schools. He offered to take Baby #3 with him, even though it would be easier to leave him home, so that I could have the morning to drink HOT coffee (just one cup, don't worry for those of you following my caffeine intake process), run on the treadmill, AND get a hot shower without any children trying to join me.

For this, I thank you, Mike. Mornings like today are few and far between for me and I really look forward to the quiet, "Heidi" time.

Thanks for your support!!! I love you!