I have to admit that I'm surprised at how many people:
1) read yesterday's post
and
2) commented on it (either on Facebook or via private message/email)
Apparently, I touched on an issue that is one that a lot of you either dealt with, or are dealing with right now. The biggest comment that I got (and have heard in the past) had to do with keeping intellectually stimulated as a stay-at-home mom. It's hard - most of our day is spent interacting with children (in my case, very YOUNG children). Deep, intellectual conversations are pretty much non-existent in my house when it's only the kids and me.
I've struggled with this a lot in the past, and still struggle with it on a regular basis. Most of the day, I'm discussing the finer points of potty breaks, childhood games (Chutes and Ladders, anyone?!?), or "he said-she said" kind of things. I've often felt that I've lost some of my brain power - especially when I'm presented with a challenging math problem while balancing the check book. (And it seems more often than not, "challenging" is really basic math, considering I went up to Calculus III. Simple addition and subtraction seems to take all of my brain power nowadays, and I'm ashamed to admit that). Often, it feels like motherhood has made me "stupid." (Oops. That's a quarter for the "naughty word" jar, as "stupid" is not allowed in our house. I wonder if I even have a quarter laying around?!?!! Oops)
So, how do we moms stay true to the brainiac that we really are, when we're constantly surrounded with young children? How do we keep challenging our brains when no one else seems to be giving us reason to?
It's easy to let it slip by. I know that I have (and still do sometimes), and it's not until I'm out with other adults - often ones that don't have children - and I realize that I don't use "big" words anymore, even just inside my head!, or I haven't read a non-parenting book in months. I'm assuming a lot of you feel the same way.
I still haven't found the answer. Online moms' groups help: even if it's at 2 am when the baby is awake, you can find someone to have a discussion with that DOESN'T revolve around pee, poop, puke, or children's shows/music. I enjoy these moms' groups, but I've found that most of them shoo away any topic that I'm really interested in (namely politics and religion). Those topics - which are usually what I like to read about and discuss - are apparently not "polite" moms' group topics, and are usually taboo. So, for me, online groups/forums typically don't do the trick.
Another option that does help for me is trying to keep the time I get to read relatively consistent (and I've been trying to increase it lately). If you don't have time to read a whole book - or if you can't just pick up a book for 20 minutes at a time to read it (I can, but I know a lot of people can't focus if they only get to read a few pages at a time) - I highly recommend Brain, Child magazine. Unlike most parenting magazines out there, this one doesn't spend 50 pages of the magazine discussing cute, yet inexpensive children's clothing. The articles (and there are many!) are well-researched, in-depth, and usually make you think. Not all of them revolve around "parenting" topics, either - you'll often find a discussion on those taboo topics of politics or religion. While I may not always agree with the material presented, I appreciate the chance to read an "adult" article, especially when I only have a few minutes that day to read.
Now that my children are getting older, too, I've been trying to take the time to encourage - and develop - their own thinking skills and curiosity. I've found that doing this gives me a chance to learn as well (just today I was asked how bridges were built, and considering high school physics was A LONG time ago, finding the answer involved research and learning - for everyone involved!). I find science experiments for us to do, and even if I know what's going to happen already, I've found that the opportunity to teach my children makes me keep my own brain well-exercised.
So, how about you? Do you feel like you are/are not intellectually challenged? Why or why not?
In many ways, I actually think being with my kids is more of an intellectual workout than anything else I do. Caring for them forces me to think about what I value. I also have to be extremely creative sometimes in order to motivate them to do what I want them to do. Reading aloud has helped me develop confidence for public speaking. *I understand the dilemma too, though, but I think finding outlets for adult thought (like this blog or other hobbies), is great. There's a certain loneliness in being with just your kids all day, or at least, that's my struggle.
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