at least that is how I felt yesterday. I sat down to blog so many times but I couldn't bring myself to do it. As a homeschool mom, I choose to be home with my children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Prior to the graduation of my Dear Husband, we were unable to afford a babysitter much, so dates were few and far between. Since the move, and the change of locations, its been hard to find a teenager to pay and trust with 3 children under five. So, needless to say, I am needing a break. Over the holiday's we traveled to Virginia to visit my parents. They had noted it was a "vacation" for me, and I should enjoy it. Unfortunately, my vacation was in my parents house, with 2 sick kids, being sick myself and then leaving my parents to fend for themselves while they came down with our nasty bug....needless to say, there was no break.
Back in the fall I tried to find something for me (a cake decorating class--very good for a mom needing to lose weight as I made 3 pounds of icing a week), however with my husband traveling, I missed the first class we actually did anything in and chose to just move forward and forget about it all....ah...it probably saved me calories but also probably sent me one step closer to that "Sanatorium" located on "Sanatorium Drive" in a nearby town.
In any case, the stress of the holiday's, the overwhelming fear of failing my children and the sadness over my oldest turning five, paired with her attitude yesterday sent me into a tailspin. In times like this...I usually like to reach for some snacks. Chocolate. Cake. Candy. And for a change and added health benefit, some VEGGIES....in BLEU CHEESE DRESSING :).
However, yesterday, I tried to keep myself away from it all. There was not a snack to be found in the house, outside a cheese stick which my youngest two claimed for themselves. So I made it...I made it without devouring the entire box of cookies, the entire cake in one sitting and the bag of candy that had yet to be opened. I did make a fresh batch of granola for a Homeschool meeting at my house on Wednesday, however I only ate one piece to make sure it wasn't burnt.
Instead, I worked out, and I was glad I did. I am down a total of 7 pounds. I have 12 pounds to go to be pre-pregnancy of my last child. I was able to comfortably fit back in 6's this week, and I began to smile as I stepped on the floor for that second work out yesterday to blow off steam, instead of reaching for that second bag of candy that I probably would have grabbed had it been in the house.
So, for you, I ask, how do you get "mom" time? How do you find a place for yourself? How do you blow of steam on those not so perfect days of mothering......I guess my new comfort is exercise. What's yours?
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