As the day dawned, I was treated to coffee in bed. I looked forward to taking my oldest to a skating party and felt confident in my ability to turn my recent eating woes into a positive outcome working back into a healthy eating pattern. Starting with yogurt for breakfast and a second cup of coffee, I figured if I added a little water I would be on track. I felt good.
Two load of laundry later, paired with wrapping gifts, showering, making beds and doing hair (three girls is busy work with hair) and I was out the door steering away from the sweets. I felt accomplished.
As Simone and I danced I saw myself on the monitors and felt somewhat sad by my appearance but also hopeful that I could continue on my weight loss journey. Then it happened....you know, those phone calls you dread?
My biological family has been in my life for 12 years. My birthmother, Sheila is my second mom and her husband Bob welcomed me with loving arms and hopes for my future like any father would. Within 2 years of our meeting, Bob was diagnosed with Brain Cancer. Luckily they lived in Minnesota and the Mayo Clinic was not far from their home. This journey has challenged the family and challenged my mom in ways I can't explain. Yesterday, as my mom celebrated her birthday, she said good bye to her soul mate. Bob passed away into eternal rest at 11:30 p.m. last night. My heart ached for her but also felt elated that her sorrows and anxiety waiting for his passing would now be over....but now there is so much to contend with. A potential trip to Minnesota (I don't fly), the three girls to take with me or somehow arrange at home and of course worry about my little brother who is 15.
So I got home and chose some kinda unhealthy food. As I ate my chips and salsa, I didn't feel guilty but I wondered would I continue on my destructive eating path that I had this week? Or would I find another way to deal with my sorrow. I am still not sure, however my question for you is, "Do you eat your sorrows" or grieve another way?
I definitely have some emotional eating problems - whenever I feel down, I reach for the munchie/snack foods. While I don't think it's the best habit to be in, I think that it's pretty common, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. I think the MORE important skill to learn is how to control it - we're never going to be able to stop with the emotional eating. I just don't think that is a healthy goal. What we CAN do is learn how to control it - we can learn how to eat smaller portions and focus on working out or other coping mechanisms. I think that's attainable - If you try and go cold turkey, it's just going to backfire. You can modify, though - measure out a portion of your comfort food. Take sips of water between bites, to slow down the "intake." Then, when you're done - work out. Write. Go for a walk. Whatever will make you feel better......
ReplyDeleteI find that a lot of the comfort food issues I have comes down to the SMELL of the food. The comfort, for me, seems to be the smells in the house - it feels safe to me if I've got something from my childhood baking or cooking. So for me, it's more than just the eating - it' the experience. That's where measuring out the portions and slowing down when eating it does help me through.
HUGS.
ITA with Heidi about smelling food. I get a lot of comfort from the smell. When I started keeping kosher I found I could relatively easily go to a non-kosher restaurant with a friend and get a tremendous amount of satisfaction just smelling their yummy burger and fries or whatever. Strange that.
ReplyDeleteI'm a stress eater. I read somewhere that for those of us who stress eat, we get a numbing effect (I think real chemicals are released to cause this) from the food so we really do get calmed by the food. Now that I'm a nursing mom, I find the "high" I get from the prolactin released when nursing a newborn is very similar to the "numb" I get from bingeing when stressed.