Interesting....

When Heidi and I "met" we were a part of a Mom Squad Board. I often read her posts and looked up to her. She was so put together. Her family seemed so fun and she seemed so fun. I sat watching while I wished I could be more like her. I didn't talk to her too much because I just felt I couldn't measure up to her strength, dignity and grace. That was until she reached out to me. In May of 2008, I lost a pregnancy. Though I was only a couple months pregnant, I began to miscarry at my oldest child's gymnastics performance. I sat in the same row as an OB in the practice I attended and instead of reaching to them, I leaned on Heidi (and Mike). Without Heidi, my husband and a few other dear friends, I don't feel I would have come from the miscarriage and loss feeling it was a good thing as I do today.

Since that time, Heidi and I began to talk. In fact, as we've talked its almost felt that she completes my sentences, she was the friend I needed as an adolescent as I waded through those tumultuous waters of High School and that friend that may have acted like a sister when you needed someone to lean on.

I sat down today, after a miserable day yesterday ended with 2 glasses of wine and wondered, how it was a new year and I felt so yesterday. I read her post and realized that like me, she too struggles.

I think as women we focus on too much. We lay in bed awake as our husbands snore (or work the night shift on call) and wonder about the children, the house, the finances, ourselves, are we giving enough, where can we help more? And in doing so we become more tired, we don't care for ourselves and we begin to fall in a sadness that we cannot help.

Sure, there are those supermoms that have the house immaculate, cook 4 course meals, wear a size 2 and have lovely lady parts that overflow over their blouse...but under that facade, I believe they too are facing the same struggles the other moms, sporting the size 8 or 10 donning the sweats feel each and every day.

My goal is to in fact eat healthier, provide healthier meals for my kids and share an example to them by exercise, but my other goal is to reach out to other moms who may just feel like me....is this really it? Where am I? How can I be a better me...not just for myself but my spouse and children.

I challenge you to find that new you in 2010. I am striving for it, and some partnership is welcome...and thanks Heidi, for writing a fabulous post that reached out not just to me, but probably uncovered feelings other momma's have as well.

Have a Blessed 2010...and hope for 2011!