Stress, stress, and more stress (AKA the job hunt)

I know, I know....go ahead and yell at me. I've been MIA (again!) for the past week or so. I'm not going to deny it - I've had a rough week. I've managed to stick - for the most part - to my eating/drinking water goals, but working out has gone by the wayside. I'm hoping that tonight I can climb back on that treadmill and get in a good workout. I'd gotten up to 15 minute runs, and I'm anxious to get back at that. Keep your fingers crossed that the kids actually go to sleep when they're supposed to and I can get a workout in. The past two nights, they've really fought bedtime and don't fall asleep until after 9pm, which makes it really hard to get a workout in before I have to head to bed.

Why the difficulties sleeping, you may be wondering? Well, Mike started working nights this week. So, now, from Sunday through Thursday, I'm a single parent from 4:15 pm until about 7 am the next morning. This also means that most days, I'm a single parent trying to keep kids quiet so that he can sleep. I don't know how families that have a regular night-shift worker does it - I find it extremely difficult and trying.

My stress level recently has really been affecting my mood. Do you have that problem? I find that when I'm stressed, I don't have any motivation - and that's also been part of the problem with climbing onto the treadmill to workout. I need to figure out how to de-stress, though, because we're flying out to San Francisco in two weeks, and I HAVE to lose at least 5 pounds by then to be comfortable in my clothes.

Stress is pretty much a normal state of things in my life, but the past couple of weeks have been pretty overwhelming. After eating out with some friends, and a new friend from the Life Teen office in Arizona, our job plans for the future drastically changed. Before that meal, we'd really only been focusing on being able to pay off our debts relatively quickly, and trying to stay either where we are in Maine, or move to an area that's closer to family (either mine or Mike's). It was pretty cut and dry - and Mike had interviews lined up for really good positions, both in Maine and near family.

However, by the end of the meal, everything had changed. We were dining with some friends from within the Catholic Church here in Maine, and a staff member from Life Teen, which is an international program for Catholic youth. No matter how the conversation flowed, it always managed to come back to a few topics that *ironically enough* are main topics of conversation at our household. Mike is an OB/GYN, and to be a Catholic OB/GYN is pretty difficult these days. Most Catholic doctors that find themselves in the OB/GYN world end up living two separate personalities : one as a doctor and then one on the weekends as a practicing Catholic. What Mike decided, during that meal, was to stop living two separate lives. He is planning on truly identifying himself as a Catholic physician, and practicing medicine according to Catholic teachings (for those of you who don't really know what I mean by this, it means things like not performing abortions, or not prescribing birth control and teaching Natural Family Planning only).

We left that meal, incredibly excited for the possibilities, and scared to death as to what this would mean for our family's future. We were both SO excited to get to truly be ourselves at all times (see my earlier post about black and white vs gray), but considering how only 1% of Catholic OB/GYNs actually practice like that, it threw a bunch of "unknowns" into our next few years.

I can honestly say that I have been amazed with what has happened over the past two weeks. Mike has been offered two different interviews in prominent practices, and had the opportunity to talk with someone about starting his own NFP-only practice here in Maine. It seems that instead of a bunch of doors closing - tons more are opening.

The stress level is unbelievable, though, as we try to figure out how to make something work for our family. Trying to find financing for his own practice, or trying to find NFP-only practices who are looking to add another doctor on board has been tough. They're out there - and we have a really good feeling about one of them in particular for many reasons - but they're mostly not ones that meet our requirements of financial security and living near family or staying in Maine.

Trying to reconcile all of the new factors has caused me to fall victim of my normal stress coping mechanism: sleep. While sleep is not necessarily a bad thing, it kind of takes up a lot of valuable working out time. I've been sacrificing the workouts - that I know will make me feel SO much better - to go curl up in bed and sleep.

If you're a praying person and could add us to your prayer list, I'd appreciate it. Prayers for a "de-stressed" household would mean a ton!!