I'm going to miss this place...

The time has finally come.

It's been a long time since I've written (*cough*cough* months), but I feel the need to sit and put my thoughts into words, and this blog is really the best place for me to do that. Why is that, you might wonder? Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words.....and pictures are a part of my story. Consider this your warning: this is a picture-heavy post (and a pretty sappy one, at that).

This week is a week of changing, that's for sure. Ellie's off having baby #4, as we speak/read/write, and Mike and I are getting ready for a pretty big, life-changing event of our own. In exactly six days (but who's counting?), we'll drive away from the home we've known for four years...and head out west.

It's a good move: the job seems perfect, the community has already been wonderful, everything seems to be changing for the better. But right now, as I sat, trying to pay the bills for this very same move, I stumbled across pictures. Lots of pictures. Some recent, some not so new...but all from this place that I've called home for the past four years.

We moved to Maine in May of 2007. Not too long ago, when you think about it. At the time, we had a three year old and a 15-month old. Excited for Mike's first JOB in what seemed like forever (undergrad and med school kind of dictated life before the move to Maine)...excited to live in such a beautiful city...excited to finally get to be something other than "students." We drove away from Michigan, sad to leave friends and amazing neighbours...but awfully excited about our future New England home.

I don't remember being this sad when leaving Michigan. I'm sure I was...but I don't remember it. Maine has become a part of me, and has shaped my being in so many ways, that it actually feels like I'm leaving a piece of myself behind. Maybe I am, in some way. Maybe those people (and teens) that I've managed to form relationships with will be keeping a part of me here in Vacationland. Maybe this is a sign that we're supposed to move back someday...whatever it means for our future, I'm not sure. What I know is that today, these thoughts, these feelings, these emotions translate into a sappy, sad, nostalgic Heidi.

I thought I'd take a minute (or two) to sit here and write down just what Maine has meant to me. Someday, I'm sure I'll be able to sit and write the same sort of post about our new home...but for now, it's time to celebrate Maine. So, buckle your seatbelts, and take a trip down Memory Lane with me.....



So this is home.




This is Maine.





And this is Maine.



I want this post to celebrate Maine, so here it goes -

Moving on from the sappy, "Oh, I'm going to miss it here so much.." post, Maine has been incredibly good to me. For that, I am forever grateful. God has blessed us abundantly the past four years...and Maine will forever be a special place to me, because of those blessings.

It's been in Maine that I've been able to truly discover who I was meant to be, as a mom, as a person, as a friend. Maine has shown me - through its beauty and its people - just what is important in life, and what I am being called to do and be.

It's been in Maine that I've discovered a love for exploring, for being outside, for gardening. Maine showed me just how much fun to can be (and how much I love) creating something out of nothing: whether it be through arts or crafts, or through gardening and preserving that garden, or through cooking and baking.

It's been in Maine that I recognized (and then began to live) that it was not only OKAY to want to be "only a mom" when I grew up, but that it was a GOOD thing to only be a mom. My family and my children are better for it, and for that I am thankful.

It's been in Maine that my love for working with teenagers was reaffirmed - and I was able to receive excellent training and experience in youth ministry. Maine took a chance on me - some young kid "from away" - and for that I am incredibly grateful.

It's been in Maine that Mike and I have been able to grow closer together, not just as a couple, but in our faith lives. Without Maine, I'm not sure we'd be where we are today in regards to our faith. God has truly been calling us over the past four years, and the absolute beauty of Mainers and their home has made it easier for us to hear Him.

And I cannot celebrate our four years in Maine without celebrating our family's growth from four to five. For it was in Maine, that a certain little guy made his appearance, and our family has exploded with love since that time. The rest of us may forever be "from away," but this little guy will forever be a Mainer:



It's thanks to Maine that this little (well, now BIG guy) guy below helped us all realize the beauty and love found in God's ultimate creation. This rascal helped us all to recognize that we are ALL a member of God's family, and we all have a part to play in the bigger community. We truly are part of a whole, and that whole is magnificent. Thank you, Maine, for helping us to see that we are not alone, and that we are stronger when we are together.




And I can't complete this celebration of Maine without celebrating the middle little guy. For it was in Maine that we all learned that it's OKAY to be an active listener, and sometimes it's okay to sit on the sidelines. For it's when you listen and watch, that you truly learn: you learn to love others, you learn to love yourself, and you learn compassion. Only with observation can you recognize what you can do to help, and it's this little guy's life in Maine that helped us all to realize that there are some times that you need to sit back and stop talking and just listen for awhile....





So, thank you to the great state of Maine. Thank you to the people we've met, people we've grown to love and appreciate, and people who have shown us love in return.

Thank you for showing us the best hiking trails, the beautiful beaches and rocky shores, for teaching us how to eat lobster, and giving us all that you have the past four years.

I will miss you.

The Dreaded Workout

Now, if you're like me, you've kind of let things slide lately. I'm assuming a lot of you out there have had that happen, because it's gotten awfully quiet in the Moms on a Mission world on Facebook. I feel kind of guilty about that - I totally fell off of the bandwagon, and I'm afraid I let a lot of you down with my own fall.

I've climbed back up onto that wagon, and I'm hoping that this time, it will stick. So far, I've found a routine that works well for us (me and the kids), and I'm hoping that I will be able to stick to it once school starts. I've tried to be more flexible with my approach, and to not set my goals TOO high, and I think that's helping over here.

I've recently found out that Netflix allows you to instantly watch movies on your TV, through your Wii (or other gaming device, if you have one), and that includes a few fitness movies. They're not the best ones out there, I'm sure, but there are enough options to at least get someone started. If you haven't looked at it yet, I highly recommend it.

I started with a "10 Minute Solutions: Rapid Results Pilates" video. It's broken down into 5 different, 10 minute routines, and I've been doing 1 routine a day, rotating through the different body areas. Today was my 5th day doing it, and let me tell you, even though it's not the most aesthetically pleasing exercise video out there (no music, no cute sets, etc), my core muscles are SORE. Like, REALLY sore. Yesterday, every laugh, cough, or sneeze bordered on torture. Today, it's not as bad, but I finally found a set of weights that were the correct weight (otherwise known as soup cans that were the same size - I couldn't find ones that "matched" before), and did the arms/shoulders routine with those weights, so I'm sure that tomorrow I will be just as sore.

In addition to the Pilates routines, I've been working out on the treadmill for 30 minutes every other day. The treadmill routine is a mixed bag of emotions for me. Before falling off of the bandwagon this spring, I'd gotten back up to running short distances, and was on my way to completing the "Couch to 5K" routine. Now, I never used to be much of a runner, but did the C25K program between my second and third pregnancies, and discovered that once I was ABLE to run, I actually loved it. I've been looking forward to getting back into running, and had been on my way there when for some reason, I stopped this spring.

I've been doing one of the pre-set "weight loss" routines on the treadmill this week, purely because I cannot run right now. My muscles are too weak, and I've put some weight back on. I don't want to injure my back again this time (about a year ago, I decided to start running again, and totally put my back out of whack because I wasn't ready for it, physically). So, I do this weight loss workout, and while it can get challenging, it's really hard to motivate myself. It's all walking. I miss the running. A lot. So, for me right now, this treadmill workout is both motivating (in that I want to lose weight and strengthen my muscles to be able to run), but it's also depressing because I'm constantly reminded at how I've let myself down and gotten so out of shape.

It's been a week of staying committed to the exercise routine, and I'm proud to say that this is the longest I've gone in a long time with keeping it up. However, it's just a week, and I think for it to become a "habit," I'm going to have to keep going for at least another two weeks (they say 21 days, right?!?!). I'm trying, but I'm nervous that I will fail again.

How are you with your exercise routine? Are you still working towards your goal? What is helping you, or what would help you?

If you've let the exercise slip away (like I have), what happened? How can we get you motivated again?

Staying Intellectually Challenged

I have to admit that I'm surprised at how many people:

1) read yesterday's post

and

2) commented on it (either on Facebook or via private message/email)


Apparently, I touched on an issue that is one that a lot of you either dealt with, or are dealing with right now. The biggest comment that I got (and have heard in the past) had to do with keeping intellectually stimulated as a stay-at-home mom. It's hard - most of our day is spent interacting with children (in my case, very YOUNG children). Deep, intellectual conversations are pretty much non-existent in my house when it's only the kids and me.

I've struggled with this a lot in the past, and still struggle with it on a regular basis. Most of the day, I'm discussing the finer points of potty breaks, childhood games (Chutes and Ladders, anyone?!?), or "he said-she said" kind of things. I've often felt that I've lost some of my brain power - especially when I'm presented with a challenging math problem while balancing the check book. (And it seems more often than not, "challenging" is really basic math, considering I went up to Calculus III. Simple addition and subtraction seems to take all of my brain power nowadays, and I'm ashamed to admit that). Often, it feels like motherhood has made me "stupid." (Oops. That's a quarter for the "naughty word" jar, as "stupid" is not allowed in our house. I wonder if I even have a quarter laying around?!?!! Oops)

So, how do we moms stay true to the brainiac that we really are, when we're constantly surrounded with young children? How do we keep challenging our brains when no one else seems to be giving us reason to?

It's easy to let it slip by. I know that I have (and still do sometimes), and it's not until I'm out with other adults - often ones that don't have children - and I realize that I don't use "big" words anymore, even just inside my head!, or I haven't read a non-parenting book in months. I'm assuming a lot of you feel the same way.

I still haven't found the answer. Online moms' groups help: even if it's at 2 am when the baby is awake, you can find someone to have a discussion with that DOESN'T revolve around pee, poop, puke, or children's shows/music. I enjoy these moms' groups, but I've found that most of them shoo away any topic that I'm really interested in (namely politics and religion). Those topics - which are usually what I like to read about and discuss - are apparently not "polite" moms' group topics, and are usually taboo. So, for me, online groups/forums typically don't do the trick.

Another option that does help for me is trying to keep the time I get to read relatively consistent (and I've been trying to increase it lately). If you don't have time to read a whole book - or if you can't just pick up a book for 20 minutes at a time to read it (I can, but I know a lot of people can't focus if they only get to read a few pages at a time) - I highly recommend Brain, Child magazine. Unlike most parenting magazines out there, this one doesn't spend 50 pages of the magazine discussing cute, yet inexpensive children's clothing. The articles (and there are many!) are well-researched, in-depth, and usually make you think. Not all of them revolve around "parenting" topics, either - you'll often find a discussion on those taboo topics of politics or religion. While I may not always agree with the material presented, I appreciate the chance to read an "adult" article, especially when I only have a few minutes that day to read.

Now that my children are getting older, too, I've been trying to take the time to encourage - and develop - their own thinking skills and curiosity. I've found that doing this gives me a chance to learn as well (just today I was asked how bridges were built, and considering high school physics was A LONG time ago, finding the answer involved research and learning - for everyone involved!). I find science experiments for us to do, and even if I know what's going to happen already, I've found that the opportunity to teach my children makes me keep my own brain well-exercised.

So, how about you? Do you feel like you are/are not intellectually challenged? Why or why not?

Working vs. Staying Home

It seems like the perennial struggle: moms who stay home with the kids want to go back to work, and moms who work want to be able to stay home. Nearly every time I talk to a mom - no matter what her occupation (SAHM - that's stay at home mom for those of you not up to speed on the abbreviations - or working mom) - the topic eventually ends up coming back to this great feeling of disillusionment with the current occupation.

I wonder if men go through this struggle? Although we've never talked about it in great depth, I don't think my husband has this internal debate very often, if at all. He may not like all of the politics and drama that goes along with being the only male resident in a world of female OB/GYN residents, he thoroughly loves his job. He loves the work he does - it both challenges and fulfills him. From other men that I've talked to, it seems to be the same kind of thing for them. Most men that I know - especially if they went to school to pursue some specific career - are pretty content in their day-to-day obligations and occupation.

Why is it that we women are constantly second-guessing the "career" path that we have chosen?

Some are quick to blame society - either that they don't give enough credit to the work that moms that stay home do, or that they don't allow women to climb as high on the career ladder and therefore, are not allowing working moms the same sort of fulfillment.

Some are quick to blame their own parents or their spouse - someone else is not providing enough support for them to achieve their personal goals.

I used to joke that "The Feminist Movement caused my depression," in that I constantly felt that the goal I'd held for myself since I was a child (to be a mom) wasn't "good enough" in today's standards. I was a failure, or letting myself down if I was "just" a mom, even though that was all that I wanted to do - what I had always felt was my primary vocation in life.

Nowadays, I'm not too sure that has anything to do with the feeling of discontent that I've struggled with for the past 10ish years as I tried to figure out what to be "when I grew up." Over the past few months, I've really spent time reading and learning more about my Catholic faith, and really taken the time to get to know Mary, the mother of Jesus. She's become a source of inspiration to me, and a source of strength as I try to be the best mother that I possibly can be.

I realize now that I had been looking at it the wrong way all along - I wasn't searching for something else to make me feel fulfilled or happy. I wasn't searching for the "right" career. The problem was that I wasn't really seeing the career I had been called into. I have been called to be a mom - and that is what will fulfill and challenge me, if I let it.

Sure, some of the days are really hard and the kids fight and I just want to get out of the house for 15 minutes or go and get a coffee and take a deep breath. But that's okay. Think about a "real" 9-5 job - you get breaks, right? There are meetings that you sit through that you just want to scream and shout at your coworkers because of the bickering or the lack of productivity. These are the meetings that you follow with a quick walk around the parking lot in the cool air, or with the 15 minute coffee break with the trusted coworker. There's no reason why I can't allow myself the same break during my job as a mom.

So this summer, one of the reasons that I haven't been around that much is that I've been focusing on my job as mom as a source of fulfillment. I'm taking the time to plan our days - outings, and days at home - and to make sure that I get those 15 minute breaks throughout the day. The boys are still little (6, 4, and 20 months), so it's not like I can leave them alone, but what I can do is set up a playroom in the basement next to the treadmill (which I did), and take them down there for only 30 minutes a day. It's new, and fun, for them as they get to play with toys that they only see for 30 minutes a day, and I get to plug in my earphones and focus on me (I usually end up listening to Christian music, so it's also a time for me to focus on my faith and meditate on something that I've read/seen/heard that day). That 30 minute break has become a needed part to our daily schedule - for all of us.

Another option (when it was too hot to stay home in the non-air conditioned house) was what a friend of mine calls "taking a sanity drive." My kids are little, so most of the time the heat would tire them out and being in an air conditioned car would do wonders for putting them to sleep. I'd drive until they fell asleep, go get a $1 coffee from McDonald's and park somewhere and read or journal as they slept in the air conditioning. If your kids are older, there's NOTHING wrong with letting them go play in an air conditioned McDonald's playland as you drink that coffee (as long as you bring along the Purell - haha).

I feel like I've come around full circle in the past 6 months and realized that I was working my dream job already - I just needed to change my viewpoint. Motherhood IS a job, and some of us ARE really called to it as our vocation. We have gifts and talents that need to be put to use in raising the next generation.

I realize that not everyone is called to the same career in life - there are moms out there who are not stay at home moms, either due to their family's financial need, or their own personal needs. And this is great, too. I think the sooner we can realize that we moms come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and careers, the better off we all will be. I'm not better than anyone else because I'm at home with my kids - and my kids will not be better off SOLELY because I'm a stay at home mom. My kids will be better off because I've realized that being a stay at home mom is what makes me happy and fulfilled - and challenges me to be a better person. I think as soon as a mom comes to that realization of her calling in life - whether it be an out-of-the-home career or an in-home one - her kids will be better off, too.

Thoughts?

Tasty Tuesdays: Canning Edition

Good morning, all!

Today is Tasty Tuesday, once again!

Today's recipe can be found over on the "In the Kitchen" page (follow the tabs at the top of this page). It's a super secret (Shhhh!!! Don't tell her I published it!!) relish recipe from my grandmother. It's easy, it makes great use of any cucumbers you have laying around....and the best part?

The kids can help! Mine helped feed the veggies through the food grinder, which they thought was hilarious.

Make some this week, and give it away as Christmas gifts - put it in pretty mason jars, and add it to a basket of jams/jellies, or bbq items. It's a great homemade touch - and very inexpensive to make! Enjoy!

A lot of changing going on...

Good morning!

If you're like me (Heidi here), you struggle with letting go of summer. Summer is a time for relaxation, a time for fun, a time for enjoying your family and friends.

The school year, however....is not.

Every year about this time, I start to dread the idea of getting up early (summers mean sleeping in), about having to get somewhere on time, and about the loss of our precious "outdoor" time. This year is no different. I'm struggling with the idea of getting back into our school year routine. This summer's been a good one. I know I've been bad about the blogging everyday thing (it's been over a month - eek!), but I am kind of proud to tell you why: the boys and I have visited 18 different state parks this summer alone, not to mention weekly playdates with friends, and visiting family in Pennsylvania and Rhode Island. It's been a really good, fun, summer, and I have the sandal tans to prove it!

What I haven't done much of is work, and that kind of includes this blog. I enjoy blogging, and hope that someone out there enjoys reading what I have to say (although I completely expect no one to admit to that. haha), but it does require that I sit still and in front of the computer for at least a little bit of time. I haven't really done much of that this summer. It's been a beautiful Maine summer: warm (sometimes hot!), sunny, and thoroughly perfect for hiking, beach-going, and exploring historic sites. So.....that's what we've been doing.

It's starting to cool down now, and with that comes lots of canning and preserving, which I've been doing a ton of, chilly bonfires in the backyard, beach days where we DON'T go swimming, and ........the dreaded back to school events...

For most of us, that means trying to get our kids back on a "school" routine, which translates into: gasp! getting up early and going to bed early!!

This is where I struggle. The summer, for us, is full of staying up until dark, catching fireflies, cooking marshmallows over a backyard fire, watching meteor showers once it finally gets dark....and definitely NOT getting up early.

We started "Operation: School Starting" in our household today. With it, I've decided to play around with our home routine - and this blog. As we get back into our school schedule and are forced inside by colder weather (and rain, in today's case), I'll be joining you back on this blog more often. I've played around with the settings to 1) brighten things up and 2) make finding things a little easier. "Tasty Tuesdays" will now be under the "In the Kitchen" heading, and other blogs will be posted by topic, for the most part. General musings and discussions will still continue here, on the homepage, but we'll try to be a little bit better about sorting our blog topics, so that you can find things a little bit more easily (especially in regards to work outs and recipes).

Our first day of Operation: School Starting has gone relatively smoothly. I woke up at 5:30, and like I figured, the kids followed shortly thereafter (6 am). That's a little bit too early for them - school wake ups are usually at 6:30 am here - so I've got to figure out the best way to get myself up and exercised without waking them up. Our routines need a little tweaking to get back on the top of our game, but we'll keep working on it - and blogging about it! - and eventually we'll get there!

The "Fun" Mom

This week's going pretty well so far. I've not blogged everyday, but I'm working on it! (I'm here now, aren't I? haha)

I've tried to get up early the past two days to spend some quiet time with God, but the boys have woken up with me each morning. I guess that's one downside to all sleeping in the same room. (It's HOT here in Maine, and we only have one window A/C unit, so we're all camping out in the air conditioning in the master bedroom). I'll try again tomorrow to get up before them - I think I'm going to turn the volume on my alarm down. If I hear it, I'll get up, if not, then we'll try again tomorrow at a slightly louder volume!

I'm doing well on the water goal. It helps that it's been so hot here - I'm trying to keep all of us hydrated, so I'm keeping ice water on the kitchen counter in a cooler. Every time I fill up one of the kid's cups, I make myself drink some too. Seems to be working so far!

The biggest goal for me this past week (so far) has been the "Fun" mom goal. I had gotten so busy and so caught up in my "to-do" list over the past few months, that I kind of forgot to enjoy my kids. I felt like I was always telling them "in a minute!" or "When I finish (fill in the blank here)." A little piece of me died every time I did that, but I just couldn't seem to stop myself. With it being summer, I've really wanted to make myself slow down and have FUN with the kids instead of constantly working. I'm happy to say that it's been a success - well, the having fun part. We've gone to state parks, we've gone to the beach, last night we had a Candyland tournament before bed, and tonight we played outside and worked in the garden together. It's been great spending this time enjoying my kids - I'm thoroughly loving every minute we spend together.

It's paid off with their behaviour, for the most part. For example, this past weekend was a holiday (Fourth of July was on Sunday). Since this is our last summer in Maine, I really wanted to cross off a really big item on my "Things I Want to do Before I Die" list: Go see the Boston Pops concert on the 4th of July. I've watched this concert on TV for years - seriously, as long as I can remember. I've always wanted to be there to see the fireworks, and enjoy the music. This year was my last chance, realistically, since we're moving to the other side of the country.

We packed the kids up, and with the help of nearby relatives who let us crash at their place (they live just outside of Boston), we were able to put together a trip that cost barely anything (just food and the train into the city). We left the house at 4:30 am on Sunday, pulled into the parking garage in Boston at 5:30 am, and were in line for the Oval (the area where the concert is located) at 6 am. The Oval didn't open until 9 am - so we had a long wait ahead of us. The boys not only waited in line wonderfully, they were troopers and made it all day until the concert started at 8:30 pm. "Making it all day" means hanging out on our blanket in the middle of the blazing hot sun, because seats were first-come, first-serve, and people have been known to move other people's items if you're not there guarding your spot. The boys - all three of them, ages almost 6, 4, and 18 months - were AMAZING. They made me so proud - I feel like I should go to Confession, I'm that full of pride!!! haha They were wonderfully behaved, and such good sports about it all. I think the fact that I've really tried to spend quality time with them really helped with their behaviour on Sunday: I think they're feeling more appreciated and secure in our relationship. I want to continue that this summer, and I've really got it on my mind in everything that I've been doing.

It's not all roses, though. I'm having a really hard time getting everything done and keeping a balance, now that I'm trying to focus more on quality mom/boys time. I'm behind in my commitments to other things: work (the youth group), school (the boys), the house (keeping it clean for showings). I haven't worked out in who knows how long, because by the time I sit down and get everything else done, I'm ready for bed, and it's almost midnight. I've stepped back from some of my roles with the youth group (on the Diocesan level, not the parish level, for any parishioners reading this!), and with preschool (stepping down off the board after this summer). Those are really the only things that I can "lose' right now: I have to still maintain the house, and the parish level youth group stuff is my part-time job. I can't really step back from everything else. My only solution is to find a way to balance it all.

For those of you out there who also find that you have to balance quality mom stuff with work/other obligations, how do you manage it? What kind of secrets/tips can you share with me, so I don't lose my mind?

Thanks!

Battling the Stillness

I feel like every one of my posts recently has started with an apology. I've (obviously) been having a hard time keeping up with things recently - well, pretty much the past three months. I honestly can't really even remember the past three or four months - it's all been a blur. I can't believe it's already July, and almost a week into July, at that!

Summer has officially started here in Maine. It's hot (90s!!! No central A/C!! ACCCKKKK), it's sunny, and school is out. Well, school's been out for a couple of weeks now, and it's been beautiful weather for a couple of weeks, but I'm just now sitting down to truly enjoy summer. We had a wedding (my sister's), a couple of business trips for Mike that I tagged along on, an interview trip to Arizona, and then a mad dash to finish projects around our house so we could list it on the market. It's been a bit overwhelming.

I've fallen back into my previous pitfalls: snacking out of boredom and not really paying attention to what I'm doing. I'm snacking for comfort - the more stressed I get about my "to-do" list, the more I eat. I've been watching myself do it, in that kind of mind's eye viewpoint, and honestly, I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to even care about stopping. I'm tired, I'm stressed, and most of the time, I can force myself to not even care about what I'm doing to myself.

That has to change. I don't have a scale yet (never bought a replacement), and we can't find the DVD for our Wii fit - it disappeared while we were gone on one of the business trips, so I can't weigh in, but I can't tell from my clothes and how they fit, that I've gained a lot of the weight back that I had lost.

So, starting right now, I'm starting over. I'm going to do this in small steps - life is going to stay stressful right now, and I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. But I DEFINITELY do not want to move to Arizona feeling like I do right now. It's hard to explain, but I don't feel CLEAN the way I am right now. I'm so sweaty and grimy, and the extra weight is just contributing to that. I don't feel cute or attractive at all, and I don't like that.

Each week, I'm going to try and set three goals and work on meeting them. Some are going to be weight-loss related, and some are just general goals for my life/mindset that I need to, or want to, work on before we move. This summer needs to be a time to recharge and revamp before things change again. I need to find my base before we pack up and move across the country.

So, this week's goals are:

1) Blog, blog, blog. I was doing SO much better when I was blogging before. I miss that outlet. I'm constantly thinking of things to write about, but I never take the time to sit down and write it out. It's not like I'm not on the computer - I seem to find time to email or check out statuses on Facebook, but I've not been taking the time to sit down and put my thoughts out there. It's more for me than you guys, because it helps me to formalize my thoughts, to put them into some sort of understandable format, so that I can return to them later and know what I was trying to say. I need that for my own good!

2) Have FUN this summer. My life is SO crazy during the school year with all the different meetings/time spent in the car, etc. I realized that this is going to be our last summer in Maine - and I want to enjoy my surroundings as much as I did the first summer that we lived here. Now that Baby #3 is easier to tote around and isn't napping as much, one of my goals this summer is to be a fun mom again. We're going to hit up the parks, the beaches, the state parks, etc. We've already started, and I'm loving it!!

3) Take a little bit of time each day and add it into my prayer life. I've been kind of shortchanging God recently, and had moved my prayer time to be as I was getting in bed. I'd read a little Scripture and then try to pray it- and often fell asleep in the process. God deserves better from me. My goal this week is to find a better time of day for that prayer. I've been getting up at 4:45 am the past few weeks for at least a couple days a week to take Mike to work (his car needs work, and we're saving up the money to get it done, so we're down to one car right now), and I actually really like getting up that early. I'd get a lot done. Summer is the perfect time to change this part of my schedule - I don't get hooked on summer TV usually, so going to bed early isn't as much of a struggle, so getting up early isn't as hard the next day. My goal is to get up at 5 am, take that time for my prayer time, and then eventually add working out into that time period as well.

4) Drink water. I've gotten kind of lax on this recently, and started falling back on my soda/coffee habit. It's going to be super, super hot here this week, and I need to make sure that I get myself back into the drinking a lot of water habit.


So, there they are. My goals that I'm going to start working on this week. I'm feeling pretty positive - I've enjoyed the trips to the state parks recently with the kids (goal #2), and I'm enjoying writing this right now (goal #1). I think it's going to be easier to stick with this time.


How are you all doing out there? Are you working on the same goals that you were six months ago, or have you revised them at all? Share!

Budgeting for Health

So, this is kind of a continuation of Ellie's post...sorry in advance!

I'd been contemplating the same issues that Ellie dealt with in her blog post for the past few days, but hadn't gotten around to sitting down and: 1) sorting through my thoughts and 2) actually typing my thoughts out. I'm not promising anything with this blog - I still haven't really sorted through anything yet, but I'm going to try and "freehand" a blog post out of it.

I, too, have been really frustrated recently with trying to feed my family with GOOD food while trying to stay under our budget of $125/week for food. (This includes all packed lunches for Mike, and Babies #1 and 2, diapers and other baby items for Baby #3, and any household items, like paper towels, toilet paper, toiletries, etc). It used to be no problem - I'd regularly come in under budget. Recently, though, I'm not doing so well. It doesn't help that all 5 of us are routinely eating "real" food now, but considering that Baby #3 had to be supplemented with formula every week (to the tune of $25/week), I can't imagine that he's really costing me more than that. He is, after all, only 17 months old and has a teeny-tiny stomach.

Lately, I've been having to go over budget by as much as $50/week, just to make sure that we have enough food. I try hard and plan out each and every meal for the week on the preceding weekend, and plan those meals around what's on sale at our local grocery store (sometimes I do branch out if I'm going to be in Portland and store-hop, based on the best sales), but it's still not going as well as it used to.

I have tried to use coupons, but to tell you the truth, I just can't bring myself to rely on the items that the coupons are for. I'll use the dairy product ones, but when it comes to the other coupons, they're usually for things like boxed, packaged meals or snacks, and I'm trying really hard to keep us away from those things. With the exception of yogurt for the kids' school lunches (only because they're sealed well and not in the glass jars that the homemade yogurt is made in), cereal, and peanut butter, pretty much everything else comes from fresh ingredients. I make most of our own bread, jams, and snack items (breads, cookies, granola, dried fruit, etc), and the majority of our meals come directly from fresh fruits, vegetables, and grains. It used to be cheaper to do it that way, especially when we lived in Lansing and could shop here.

That doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Or maybe it is still cheaper, and the cost of packaged foods has gone up and I just don't know it. What I do know is that the cost of keeping fresh fruits, vegetables, meats, and grains on the table has really gone up. It's frustrating, to say the least! I don't want to compromise our "food values" by buying the cheap, frozen meals instead of making my own, but it seems to be one way of cutting corners.

Have you had that experience? If so, how do you combat it? And out of curiosity, where in the country are you currently living? (I'm wondering if it's more of an East Coast thing).

Still Going...

and going. Like the exercise bunny! With another 2.5 pounds, I am happy to say I have had the first "outsider" comment on the loss of weight and toning I have been doing. Of course, I have seen it (and for the first time in my life admitted it) but I had a lady at the library ask me my secret. LOL. My secret...well, work out. Everyday. Even if its for a half hour...and if its just a work out video, work out as if the trainer is with you. Yes, I almost THREW UP the other day after a Bob Greene Boot Camp workout. And eat in a way that makes you proud to share your diet. So what was that for me today????? Fresh Basil, Mozzarella and Tomato with a Trader Joe's Balsamic Vinegar.

One thing I have been struggling with is preparing meals. You know, the good for you, good for your kids, love it when they try it meals. The other day I posted on my Facebook site that I was in need of a new cookbook. We have a few (okay a few more than a few) but really, I need something that works with ingredients I have on hand. One person mentioned a book that has recipes for 5 ingredients. That is perfect...now if I can find it. Another mentioned Paula Deen. Paula Deen, I love you but I am sure I am not going to be wearing a bathing suit this summer if I am serving up your butter loving suppers. And of course there is the entorage of food experts (or cooks) that the Food Network puts out. The Barefoot Contessa, Rachael Ray, Alton Brown, etc...Heidi has recommended the Weight Watchers ones and perhaps that is where I will search when at the Library next, but what is it that YOU do for YOUR family to eat healthy?

Another thing on the same line is the COST OF HEALTH. Its really now not just a discussion for those struggling financially. GOOD HEALTHY FRESH products are increasing in demand and are struggling to make it to the grocer's shelves. With the natural disasters paired with the "raw food movement", your typicaly grocery bill may have jumped 25%. Sure, the Coupon Mom has her thing, where you can feed yoru family on packaged food galore for just $47.00 a week...but is that really what I want to put into my family's body? So another question to ponder...how do you save? How do YOU cut costs and feed your family healthy meals on a healthy budget! Looking forward to good responses!!!!!

Keep working out. Results aren't always quick to show but when they come, you'll know! Feel good about the woman you are becoming for yourself and your family! Til Tomorrow!

It was...

the video I thought. I can't believe it. That brain I pushed out three different times which makes me forget absolutely EVERYTHING hasn't failed me!

Leslie Sansone and her Walk Away The Pounds truly is a tough routine. With her circuit training paired with hand weights, you truly feel and see results after using it. When I first picked it up (again the Holt Library), I was skeptical, but being pregnant I wanted something "easy" and "light". Much to my surprise, Leslie did NOT fit the bill...at least not this work out...

For 30 minutes she switches from four types of walks (which you can make harder by adding a jump, bump or bounce), paired with handweights...I use 5 pounders, adding 10 pounds to the intensity.

By the half way mark, you are sweating and by the end you feel the work out not only in your legs and your arms but you feel the cardio work as well.

I highly recommend this work out for those who are getting back into workouts, this is also good for increasing the impact of your work outs. Try her sets, you'll see! Leslie Sansone may seem like she's working for the old ladies, but she can help you too!

The Videos of the Week

Everyone says...Jillian Michaels is tough, but after doing 2 new workouts this week, I think its all perspective. I did Bob Greene's "Boot Camp" and also "Denise Austin" Cardio Kickboxing and if you are giving it your all, these three are all "Bears" in my book!

So that leads me to my next thought....work out videos don't work...at least that is what a lot of people I meet say. My thought is, of course not, if you don't do them. I have found however, in the past 4 weeks that I have done them, I am seeing results. Serious ones. My size 4's are fitting again. I have lost a substantial amount of weight--(another 2.5 as of Friday). So, like anything, I think if you work it, it works for you! You know, those people that BUY the home equipment and don't use it, they don't lose it...so my tip for the day is USE IT TO LOSE IT!

I promised a review of yet another video, but I am slightly off on my reports. I have no idea which I promised next, so I am going to have to take a look...until then, today is Mother's Day...do something for YOU! I worked out this morning to Bob Greene and he made me feel good!

I skipped a day...

of working out...and I am nervous about this weekend. My parents are coming in and to be prepared I spent the day trying to clean the hosue for their arrival. This is no small task with landscapers galore, 3 children needing tending and of course the plethora of laundry that seems to accumulate whenever I am not looking. The baby was on her 3rd outfit by 9 a.m.

Anyway, I had intentions of working out. I am still in my workout clothes. But I just didn't get to it. Instead, after a tiring and overwhelming day I chose to go to McDonald's with my family. I was going to sit in the car not tempting myself with those fries that no one elses seem to come close to being like, but instead, I decided to go in...and enjoy. I chose a Happy Meal. I figure that serving size is perfect for an adult and though its only a "sometimes" food, it still allows me to create memories with my kids. They loved we got a 4th Mermaid to play with!!!!

And hopefully this weekend I will be able to get my workouts in. At least 2. One tomorrow and Saturday...that won't be so bad, and even if there are no work outs, there's always Monday!!!!!

How do YOU find time to work out in YOUR busy schedule. Share! I know a lot of mommies struggle with this balance!

Tasty Tuesday...Wednesday Morning

Since I have been on hiatus so long, I had forgotten to even think about posting for "Tasty Tuesday". You know, the day when we provide recipes for helful fare that both you and your children will devour? Over the lenten period Heidi and her family chose to give up meat...for us, we just started eating it ourselves :) My girls constantly asked for it and though I had been a veggie most of my life, my husband had only switched recently...so reluctantly we added meat to our weekly meals. Typically we eat it 2 or 3 times, leaving for veggie meals the remainder of our days!

Lately I am on a "Summer Kick". I am excited to say that this year we'll be planting a garden, and though its been many years since I have helped in one, I am hopeful by summers end we'll be dining on our own fresh goodies! I have also been noted to be the "Super Salad Maker". This started in college when I would cook for friends and enjoy it (oh how I love to cook). My chidren are known do pick "salad" while eating at a friends house over french fries.

My favorite meal of this past week was a salad that I not only ate for dinner but was lucky enough to finish off for lunch 2 days later. My dear friend Liane had noted that her "George Forman" was great for grilling chicken and while I don't own a grill or a "George Forman", I do have a "Cuisinart Griddler" This nifty thing has proved fun for lunches, breakfast for dinner and of course dinners themselves. After grilling 3 breasts of chicken--seasoned a la Ellie--read garlic salt, pepper, paprika and onion powder- (found a great organic, no antibiotic farm here), I simply chopped up the chicken laid it on a fresh bed of mixed greens and spinach and added mango, apple and avocado. Though I adore Bleu Cheese and felt it would be perfect on the salad, I knew the girls would prefer good old fashion Cheddar so we had that ont he side! I also found that the old theory of washing your greens and storing them in your salad spinner for added freshness is in fact true. Three days later, our leafy friends tasted wonderful and looked great as well! So I urge you to try this yummy meal and if you need something more hearty, fresh bread will always do the trick when adding it to any salad meal!

**Side note, we found Quorn to be wonderful in replacing chicken products. Though I have only found it at Wegman's here on the East Coast, the Lansing area has it in great supply. Kroger and The East Lansing Food Co-Op were some of our favorite places to pick it up!

ENJOY!

Stress, stress, and more stress (AKA the job hunt)

I know, I know....go ahead and yell at me. I've been MIA (again!) for the past week or so. I'm not going to deny it - I've had a rough week. I've managed to stick - for the most part - to my eating/drinking water goals, but working out has gone by the wayside. I'm hoping that tonight I can climb back on that treadmill and get in a good workout. I'd gotten up to 15 minute runs, and I'm anxious to get back at that. Keep your fingers crossed that the kids actually go to sleep when they're supposed to and I can get a workout in. The past two nights, they've really fought bedtime and don't fall asleep until after 9pm, which makes it really hard to get a workout in before I have to head to bed.

Why the difficulties sleeping, you may be wondering? Well, Mike started working nights this week. So, now, from Sunday through Thursday, I'm a single parent from 4:15 pm until about 7 am the next morning. This also means that most days, I'm a single parent trying to keep kids quiet so that he can sleep. I don't know how families that have a regular night-shift worker does it - I find it extremely difficult and trying.

My stress level recently has really been affecting my mood. Do you have that problem? I find that when I'm stressed, I don't have any motivation - and that's also been part of the problem with climbing onto the treadmill to workout. I need to figure out how to de-stress, though, because we're flying out to San Francisco in two weeks, and I HAVE to lose at least 5 pounds by then to be comfortable in my clothes.

Stress is pretty much a normal state of things in my life, but the past couple of weeks have been pretty overwhelming. After eating out with some friends, and a new friend from the Life Teen office in Arizona, our job plans for the future drastically changed. Before that meal, we'd really only been focusing on being able to pay off our debts relatively quickly, and trying to stay either where we are in Maine, or move to an area that's closer to family (either mine or Mike's). It was pretty cut and dry - and Mike had interviews lined up for really good positions, both in Maine and near family.

However, by the end of the meal, everything had changed. We were dining with some friends from within the Catholic Church here in Maine, and a staff member from Life Teen, which is an international program for Catholic youth. No matter how the conversation flowed, it always managed to come back to a few topics that *ironically enough* are main topics of conversation at our household. Mike is an OB/GYN, and to be a Catholic OB/GYN is pretty difficult these days. Most Catholic doctors that find themselves in the OB/GYN world end up living two separate personalities : one as a doctor and then one on the weekends as a practicing Catholic. What Mike decided, during that meal, was to stop living two separate lives. He is planning on truly identifying himself as a Catholic physician, and practicing medicine according to Catholic teachings (for those of you who don't really know what I mean by this, it means things like not performing abortions, or not prescribing birth control and teaching Natural Family Planning only).

We left that meal, incredibly excited for the possibilities, and scared to death as to what this would mean for our family's future. We were both SO excited to get to truly be ourselves at all times (see my earlier post about black and white vs gray), but considering how only 1% of Catholic OB/GYNs actually practice like that, it threw a bunch of "unknowns" into our next few years.

I can honestly say that I have been amazed with what has happened over the past two weeks. Mike has been offered two different interviews in prominent practices, and had the opportunity to talk with someone about starting his own NFP-only practice here in Maine. It seems that instead of a bunch of doors closing - tons more are opening.

The stress level is unbelievable, though, as we try to figure out how to make something work for our family. Trying to find financing for his own practice, or trying to find NFP-only practices who are looking to add another doctor on board has been tough. They're out there - and we have a really good feeling about one of them in particular for many reasons - but they're mostly not ones that meet our requirements of financial security and living near family or staying in Maine.

Trying to reconcile all of the new factors has caused me to fall victim of my normal stress coping mechanism: sleep. While sleep is not necessarily a bad thing, it kind of takes up a lot of valuable working out time. I've been sacrificing the workouts - that I know will make me feel SO much better - to go curl up in bed and sleep.

If you're a praying person and could add us to your prayer list, I'd appreciate it. Prayers for a "de-stressed" household would mean a ton!!

Quick Fit Hip Hop Dance...

Quick Fit and exercise don't seem to go well together, but as many mom's know, 2 hours in the gym is pretty much not something you can do, especially if you stay home. Perhaps if you work outside the home you can skip lunch (not so healthy) and go then...but at home, its almost as if "MORE" is required since that is all you do...stay home :) In any case, with 3 kids not yet of school age (I know we're a little big crazy), finding time to actually work out was something I didn't do. But like I said before, I was putting them, and my husband before myself and becoming more and more unhappy with myself, in turn making life less pleasant for us all. Kindly, my neighbor said to me last night..."you don't need to lose". And perhaps for health purposes I don't NEED to lose, but I am lucky I carry my weight well. In any case, "Quick Fit" was what I needed.

Quick Fit is a brand that gives you 3 work outs in 30 minutes. Some are areas that focus on problems..i.e. hips and thighs, post natal, abs, cardio...etc, but its all about getting in there getting it done and getting it out of there. The great thing is if you devote 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week, that is 3 hours...which is a great start. Add a few walks, and a couple of quick crunches and you are set...especially if you are busy and on the run (as ALL Americans seem to be).

The Quick Fit Hip Hop Dance is great. Its easy enough that me and my two left feet can follow along and intense enough I break a sweat. Once the moves are down (which apparently I have them as my oldest suggested I make my own video), you can intensify...how? Some weights. Either hand weights (2,3,5 pounds each) or wrap around weights. My oldest suggested to make it harder I blindfold myself but well, that just isn't an option. For $9.99 at Target, this video has become a staple in my rotation. That is right, my rotation. As my friend Janis can attest, I have always had this "work out video craze" and perhaps I am one of the few people the videos work for because I become obsessed!

If you are feeling you need to add some time, I have found the Wii Fit is a great added bonus. It also allows you go get in 10 minutes of Yoga or Strength when you are waiting for something or just have a couple minutes on your hands. So I suggest that as an added bonus for those really pushing it to look hot for YOURSELVES this summer :)

Tommorow I will be reviewing the "Walk Away the Pounds" videos by Leslie Sansone. Though low impact, I have one that gets me working up a sweat everytime! Check back to see if its on your shelf...or should be!

Another Week another Pound....

or not....I did a fantastic job the week before this dropping 7 pounds. As I said on Facebook, I did stop taking the pill, however I am not so sure all of it is water weight. I am still sitting at 138.1.Literally. No loss on ounces either strangely enough. So at least I did not gain. I have 9.9 pounds to go until my goal weight of a BMI of 19 AND a weight of 127. I have been faithful in my work out and more confident in my body. For the first time in probably 2 years I was able to put on a nightgown in front of my husband instead of sleeping in a t-shirt and sweats. Seems like a small thing but for me it was a huge accomplishment and I feel great about it! In fact, laying in bed last night I told him it felt good to not be covered in sweats :)

I did promise another reivew of a work out video and today is a FAV. If we were rating with stars, this would be 5 out of 5. I first found it through the Holt Library, within the Capital Area District Library. I then purchased it on Amazon, so its still out there folks...its the Quick Fit Post Natal Workout. I know, 14 months after the fact I am still using it but let me tell you about the good points. Its 3 ten minute work outs so if you can't do it all at once, you can spread it out through the day. This is a huge plus for busy families! It also focuses on different areas of the body. Mostly focusing on strength training so you are increasing lean muscle mass to burn more calories through the day. How have I made it tougher???? Increase weight. No, I do not recommend baby wearing during this however adding 5 or 10 pounds weights to the work out seems to have increased my strength and toned up my arms and back a bit. Sure, I still have a ways to go but I still feel this work out when I really push it and increase intensity. So, if you are post partum, or just getting back on the exercise horse, I recommend this work out to you!!!!!

Stay tuned tomorrow...for......my review of the Quick Fit Hip Hop Dance Review...if I can do it, with my "elephant" self, you too can get this one down and have fun!

Video Review

So how many of you have wanted to pick up a work out video at Walmart or Target wondering what it held behind that plastic cover? I think my obsession began with "The Grind" and moved into "Tae Bo" before I became a "workout video crazed" girl of the 90's.

So here I sit, 30 and owning about 20 videos. From "8 Minute Abs" to the "Quick Fit Post Natal" workout, I have it all. I have gone on wild binges making sure I use them daily, weekly, and monthly...but some of them just don't stand up. Some make me so sore I feel as if I've had a personal training session at Bally's (I used to work out there with a hot son of a gun) and others I could walk through with my eyes closed (read: my 3 year old can do it no problem). So I have decided I would share my favs with you!

I am starting with a popular one, shared with me by my friend C. She's a doll and a half in itself and this mom who is 8 months post partum looks awesome and motivates me to continue to work out as she's truly slimmed down and makes me ooh and ahhhh every week or so when I see her. This work out that has whipped her into shape and made me super sore on occassion is "Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred". With an uber intense 20 minute work out, the first time I tried it, I fell over after the 11th minute. Now I have a favorite of the three work outs (Phase 2) and enjoy sweating (big time) as I work away those areas that all women can shape! Personally, I feel if you are not in "semi-good" shape this video could seriously hurt you. So take it slow at first. But truth be told the $15.00 I spent at Target was totally worth it, and heck its about 1/5th of a months membership at the gym :)

Stay tuned for tomorrows review....The Quick Fit Post Natal Workout...and yes, I still use it 14 months later :)

Work Outs Work

So about 2 weeks ago, I got serious again. I figured I give my kids attention. I make sure they eat right, provide balanced meals for them, and I also make sure they get exercise through dance, tumbling, playing, and also ensure they are growing their minds heading to the library, reading, working on activities that help to enhance learning...why then do I ignore myself? When I do, I become sad. I don't want to move forward and be healthy, and I get into a rut. It had to change. With Summer coming I was still disappointed in my body. I was sad about the baby weight I had left to lose and I decided it was high time I ate healthfully and set aside 1/2 hour every day for ME to exercise. If it meant a little bribery, I was for it. Exercise for me, video for you!

With money tight, I had to go back to the good old fashioned videos. Yup. With a double jogger you can run, but with three girls too small to bike on their own, its not really realistic. We do love walking and hiking as a family so we use the double stroller then and sometimes even pop the third kid up front :) In any case, I had alway been skeptical about videos. Could they work? I have tested them and found out...yes, they do.

In the past two weeks I have been rotating through numerous videos. Jillian Michaels, Yoga Booty Ballet, the NYC Ballet Warm Ups, Crunch Series, and some others. I did try one that didn't suit my fancy but passed it along in hopes someone else could be happy with it. I have also included the Wii Fit in my day...and can get some step time in while my kids play around me :)

I began my quest at 140 pounds. I have not weighed that much except when pregnant, so really I had about 15 pounds to lose. I also "liked" Weight Watchers on Facebook looking for tips on how to eat healthfully and get myself feeling good about me. Not just "mom-me" but "ME".

Yesterday I hopped on the Wii Fit. Knowing my clothes were baggier and that I felt more toned, I was elated to see that I have lost 4 pounds in two weeks. YES. That means I am 136. Its not ideal, but its truly where I am right now...I figure with only 11 pounds to go by July, I'll be one HOT MOM :)

How Do You Save?

In this economy, a simple "slip up" can prove detrimental to family finances. That is what we're facing now. Even with my husband working for an amazing company, making amazing pay, we've hit a rock.

We purchased our home last year and though on the high end of our budget, it made sense. Our mortgage payment would only differe $50.00 from the other home available to us in our price range AND the taxes here would be lower. So it seemed like the best idea for our move to the east coast.

The East Coast, where everything is more expensive. Sure, I lived here as a kid however I wasn't in charge of finances. And though I knew my parents were careful, I didn't want for anything. I rode competitively, enjoyed a nice home, private school education and had everything I needed. SURE, I didn't get everything I wanted but such is life.

In October, our home began to leak. It has proved to be disasterous. Long story short, we've hired a company to fix what a well-known "high-end" landscape company messed up. About $16,000 later, we're sitting with mass piles of dirt and I am struggling to cut on food.

When grad school was over, the thing I looked forward to most was fresh food and veggies. I looked forward to being able to grocery shop without a calculator and not continue to eat rice and beans constantly. Its been wonderful. I have loved it.

On to now. We've decided we have to cut. And cut BIG TIME! So, we're taking drastic steps to rebuild our savings again. No more tumbling or art for the big girls. No trips to costly family events (read: hikes here we come), no vacation fund, good bye IRA Savings, good bye "fun money", good bye "dinners out", we're trying to rid ourselves of our phone and cable but we seem to be bound by contract, even though they are raising my rates. YES, we are in talks with the original company and we are hoping to recoup some of the money, but we need to plan how to do it without. So, here we are. Embarrassingly, I had to decline on a first communion party becasue we can't afford a gift. I also had to say "no" to a new mom and meal swap because we can't make extra meals. This has totally drained us. Our last step is to decrease our spending on groceries. So here I am wondering what I can do to scrimp and save. Currently I spend about $100.00 per week on groceries for our famil of 5. This includes produce, dairy, breads, meats and veggies....but how to continue to cut back without cutting health? Any suggestions?